


The Asgardian Soldier

by Lokis_Lady_Death



Series: The Asgardian Soldier [1]
Category: Loki - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Asgard (Marvel), F/M, Gen, Marvel Universe, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-13 05:35:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 37,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20169007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lokis_Lady_Death/pseuds/Lokis_Lady_Death
Summary: This series runs parallel with each MCU movie featuring Loki. It shows a behind the scenes love between young Asgardians that eventually gets complicated by all of the happenings of the universe.





	1. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place before Thor

“Loki, you're the absolute worst!” you heard your sister squeal before she ran off. You let out a chuckle as the flowers-turned snake slithered into the grass with Thor hot on it's trail.  
You were eight then, a wild haired rebel. Your mother had been too busy cooking to deal with both your insistent boredom and your sister Sif’s nagging whines so she sent you both out to play. Who should you come across the but princes of Asguard. Your sister fawned over Thor regularly but this was the first time you had met them. When you came up, Thor had offered flowers to your sister. Sif took them but as soon as she lifted them to her nose to smell, Loki had done his work and turned them into a rather sizable snake. Poor Sif, Thor was more concerned with the snake while you laughed until you thought you'd burst.  
Loki gave you a curious look. “Girls tend to not like my pranks,” he noted, then added, “Well, people in general seem to not like them.”  
“No, that was brilliant. You are brilliant.” You were still laughing when you looked up to meet his gaze, noticing the little prince’s cheeks were flushed.  
The next day when Sif brought you back to play, Loki offered you a handful of flowers. “I’ve seen this trick,” you told him, a half smile on your face. “Is it going to slither up my arm when I take it?”  
“No,” he said simply, holding them out. “I just thought you would like them.” You smile left and you felt your cheeks warm. You weren’t use to boys being nice to you.  
Loki let out a chuckle. “I made you blush this time.”  
Your cheeks got warmer, your eyes narrowed. “What?”  
“Yesterday you made me blush. So today I decided I would make you.” He was so matter of fact that it took you off guard. “It’s only fair.”  
Sif and Thor laughed at you, to which you vowed vengeance on the little prince.  
And so sparked the blushing games.  
As children it was simple enough. The key was to have a good amount of time in between so the other wasn’t expecting it. Little comments, like calling you pretty, telling Loki you liked his eyes, little hidden sweet notes that the other wasn’t expecting, or surprise gifts. One could go months without a retaliation, always making the suspense of the next attack that much more surprising. It went on for a few years before finally you were both teenagers. The last moves came when Loki grabbed your hand at a festival and, later that night, you pulled the ultimate attack: a kiss on the cheek. You had never seen Loki’s face so red and you declare yourself the all time winner of the blushing games.  
But as all good things in childhood, things came to an end. Thor and Loki became enthralled in their roles in the royal courts, though Loki took it much more serious of the two. You and Sif had your own studies as well as honing key talents in combat. While Sif would still spend time with Thor, you and Loki had drifted apart. You became driven in your goals of joining the Asgardian guard and Loki spent his free time honing his magic skills. Even when Sif tried to bring you on adventures with the princes and their other friends, you stepped back. The path you paved for yourself was a difficult one, one that required all of your time and energy. While they went to other worlds, battling monsters, you were training and working your way up the guard’s leadership.  
You had worked in the guard for a few years and eventually forgot all about the childish game, going out with the military on expeditions before eventually reaching the prestige title of Master Sergeant. The new position saw you return to Asgard a decorated soldier. With the ranking, you were also promoted to work inside of the castle as one of the heads of the Royal Guard.  
You were excited to start your first day, bringing your new troop out into the courtyard to begin your morning training. Your skin was tan from training out in the sun, your hair tied back so as not to fall in your face, your muscles outline perfectly by light beads of sweat. You were in your element. After some stretches, you were all off, jogging around the castle grounds.  
You didn’t even notice when the princes came outside to see the new guards start their training.  
“Why have you brought me out here, brother?” Loki huffed, bored already. He had already followed his brother through the bifrost earlier that week on a mission that he was less than pleased about. The constant distractions from his studies was less than ideal.  
Thor gave his biggest, toothiest grin before pointing. “You haven’t noticed?”  
Rolling his eyes, Loki looked down at the group. “The new head guard is a woman?” he guessed was the interesting news his brother had dragged him outside for.  
“No!” the god of thunder barked, “Look closer!”  
Loki narrowed his eyes trying to see from the distance, to make out the woman running ahead of the men below them. His eyes widened. “Is that?”  
“Yes, y/n, she was promoted last month and just started the position today!” Thor exclaimed, excited his brother had finally caught on.  
A slight smile graced the god of mischief’s lips as he watched you from afar, commanding your men, taking charge. He had known for many years this was your dream and though you had both grown apart, it didn’t make seeing you in all your glory any less satisfying.  
Thor snapped him back to reality, asking, “Would you like to go speak with her?”  
“Speak with her?”  
“Congratulate her,” Thor pushed. “You both used to be so close.” Again he grinned, nudging his brother with his elbow. “Remember the game you used to play?” The blushing game came fresh and hard on his mind. Loki looked back down at you, now smirking at the thought. And it was his move.  
“I suppose I could spare another moment.”  
The two made it down just in time for you to come to a halt with the troop, watching over them as they tried to catch their breath. You were proud of them for their first round keeping up with you. You walked around to the fountain, ready to fill your canteen.  
As you bent over, you felt a hand graze down the small of your back, cupping your ass.  
“Seeing you bent over like this makes me wish we were alone in my bed chamber.”  
Heat rose in your face as you snapped straight up, swinging your canteen out at who would dare make such a comment to the Master Sergeant. You gasped seeing Loki, now completely drenched, smiling down at you.  
“I suppose that came out a bit strong, but, I believe I earned my win.” You blinked, dumbfounded at his comment. Before you remembered.  
“Oh, Damn!” you laughed, covering your face. “Our game!” Loki flashed you his perfect smile, nodding. “Last I counted, I won. It’s been years since we played and I was the last to score. Besides,” you teased with a giggle, “we’re adults now. You’re a prince learning how to rule a kingdom with your brother. I’m training to be head of the royal guard…”  
Loki tsked you, ignoring your point. “We are older now. So, new game, higher stakes.”  
“Higher stakes?”  
A crooked smile graced his face. “Making someone blush is easy.” Taking a step closer, your faces were mere inches apart. He offered, “How about making someone react?”  
Your brow furrowed, thinking on what he meant.  
His lips were against your ear now, softly whispering as he ran an unexpected hand up your bare arm, “One of us pushes the other to go further.”  
You didn’t mean to, but having him so close, feeling the tickle of his breath, you let out a low gasp.  
“What’s wrong, y/n, are you afraid of a little competition?”  
You bit your lip, feeling your competitive nature rise. You looked up into Loki’s emerald eyes, unsure of what to say.  
Thor came out of nowhere, his laugh hearty and full as he clasped his hands on both of your shoulders. “It is good to see you, Lady y/n.”  
You managed to collect yourself enough. “Please don’t start being so formal,” you told him, “I would hate to have to start referring to you as Prince Thor all the time. I’ll be seeing you more often, I’m sure.”  
“I would hope so,” Loki answered. The two of you locked eyes, feeling the tension build.  
Let the games begin.  
The next day you were surprised to see Loki out again, this time dressed in a simple thin shirt and pants, lacking his usual leather garb.  
“What are you doing?” you asked, trying not to notice how tight fitted the clothes were.  
He swung his arms around, stretching their lengths, his muscles incredibly detailed even under the shirt. “I thought I would join you in training today,” he said nonchalantly.  
“But why?”  
He grinned. “Are you uncomfortable with me being here?”  
“Not at all.” Stepping up to Loki, you did your own stretches, raising your hands high above your head, pushing your chest up just so, your ass curving back just enough to cause a shift in Loki’s stare. When you let out a deep, slow breath, you could see him bite his lip. “As long as you can keep up.”  
After doing a few laps, you led Loki and the guards to the stall to take a break. Loki was speaking to two other men, casually going over one thing or another. You felt a rise within yourself seeing him after running all morning, a glisten of sweat on his brow, his black hair pulled back out of his face, the fast rise and fall of his chest against while he caught his breath, his already tight clothes soaked enough leave little to the imagination of his true stature.  
Realizing you must have been staring, you hurried away to take a moment to yourself. Hiding behind a corner, you tied the bottom portion of your shirt up, just below your breasts.  
“Taking cheap shots, I see,” Loki cooed into your ear. His fingers ran up your now bare waist, his nails slightly grazing the skin. Just enough to send a shiver up your body.  
Swinging around on your heels, you leaned back on the wall looking up at him. “Why, whatever could you mean, my prince?”  
You could see your comment got him when he closed his eyes and smiled at a loss of retort. “Cheap shots, indeed.” He brought a hand up on either side of your face, bracing himself on the wall. His mouth came down, not your your lips, but the nape of your neck. Taken off guard, you felt a soft moan escape you. His hands came down to your waist, fingers tracing the fold of your pants, going around and cupping your ass. You held your breath, locking eyes with him when he pulled back to look at you. Instead of continuing, he reached up to brush a loose strand of hair from your face. Fingers went behind your head, tangling in your hair, his eyes still on yours. The anticipation bubbled inside of your chest and you wondered if he would kiss you.  
The sound of approaching footsteps broke you from your daze as you shoved Loki off of you. Two soldiers came to let you know everyone was ready to go on with the training. You nodded, going after them. Loki followed closely behind you.  
“So I suppose you won that round,” he admitted.


	2. The Trickster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place during Thor 1

The first time you saw Loki while you were fully suited in your golden armor, you thought he hadn't recognized you. After all, the helmet covered your face and you were identical to any other ranking officer in the palace. He had made no motion to you and you were free to perform your duties.  
One day, during your break, you snuck off into the guard’s private chamber to remove your armor. You had just removed your metal boot covers when you felt a single hand sliding up the curve of your ass.  
“Do you think I haven’t noticed you hiding from me?” Loki asked in your ear. You felt your heart beating faster when he turned you to look him in the eye, hands wrapped around your waist to lock you there. You may have been fit and well trained but there was no denying the strength he resided within himself. “I must admit, the armor is a nice touch.”  
“You’re going to get me into trouble,” you snickered, trying hard to meet his gaze without wavering on your own resolve. He was so close. And he smelled heavenly.  
His mouth curved, simply stating, “Don’t worry, y/n, I have a rather good relationship with your employer. I’ll make sure your position is secure should anyone see us acting…. inappropriately.”  
You just knew he had to hear your heart when you yourself felt it ringing all throughout your body. He lifted his hand up to your face, tilting your chin up to meet his eyes.  
“I’m not sure I’ll be able to restrain myself if I have to see you every day.”  
You bit you cheek to keep from losing yourself in his emerald gaze, holding your breath to in order to conceal how excited you were becoming. His fingers traced up from your chin, across your cheek, before tracing the strands of hair that had fallen loose from your ponytail.  
Without realizing what you were doing, you closed your eyes, puckered your lips and leaned forward to catch his mouth.  
He laughed, moving back before you caught him. “I believe that’s my win.”  
Your eyes shot open and your mouth went agape. Raising your hands between the two of you, you pushed him off. “You’re impossible, Loki! That was a cheeky trick, I thought you were going to kiss me!”  
“Oh no,” he cooed, “I have excellent control. You on the other hand…” His finger went back to your hair, tasseling your ponytail. “You should work on some restraint, my sweet y/n.”  
You vowed vengeance.  
When Thor, Sif, Loki and the others returned from a venture across the nine realms, your sister mentioned Thor to be coronated. The news must have been fresh, as now the entire palace was buzzing with excitement about the ceremony. You knew that meant a lot of work for you and your men so you went to Odin’s side to ask what you needed to do in preparation.  
“Nothing,” the god of gods told you as he sipped from his glass.  
“But you majesty, I could…”  
“Consider it your first holiday off.” His good eye was closed while he sat back at the chair.  
Frigga smiled at you, adding, “It’s a big day for all of us. You should spend it alongside your friends.” You were surprised by the offer, though you shouldn’t have been. You had known Odin and Frigga personally as long as you had known Thor and Loki. Even if you hadn’t had many audiences with Odin himself, Frigga was frequently out with her sons when you and Sif would play alongside them. She had even witnessed the blushing game for herself a few times. If you didn’t know better, you’d say she had helped Loki with a few of the poems he had given you.  
“As you wish, your majesty.” You offered a low bow, your armor clanking at the movement.  
Before you made it to the doorway, Frigga mentioned, “And before the coronation is a banquet. So dress accordingly.”  
With an aggravated sigh, you conceded and left.  
You were about to put your helmet back on when you heard your name being hollard from down the hall. Turning, you saw the heavily clad Thor waiving Mjölnir like a toy.  
“Well hello to you.”  
Thor’s wide smile was always so inviting, but right now it was almost overly so. “I hear you and brother have had begun a new game!” He tried to whisper, but bless his soul, he was just as loud and obvious as a child.  
“Yes, well. He got his win just before you all left for your expedition.” You offered him a smile and congratulations on being crowned king.  
You were shocked that bragging on himself wasn't his main agenda. Instead, it was to aid you. “I believe I have a way for your to gain the upper hand, y/n, if you are interested in my assistance. It would indeed be a dirty tactic but….” His gin widened. “I believe it would be enough to put my brother out of the game.”  
You felt a rise within you at the thought. “Tell me.”  
*****  
The day of the banquet arrived and you were already cursing under your breath. Looking up the grand entrance to the palace, you shuttered realizing the task before you to be handled, not in your usual combat boots, but in heels, was almost too much to bare. But you had to persevere. You would have your win.  
Just inside of the grand hall, you saw Loki dressed in traditional style but in his signature black color distinguishing him from his family in gold. He was speaking with someone you didn’t recognize, idly nodding along with them, when he caught you in his view. His jaw fell, his eyes widened. You tried to hide your excitement behind a sly smile.  
Thor’s suggestion had paid off.  
You wore a skin tight, silk dress with a slight up to your thigh that was the same color as Loki’s eyes, which turned out to be his favorite color Thor had told you. It seemed like such a silly idea at the time. Loki was so sophisticated, well rounded, well spoken. The thought of a dress being enough to bring the god of mischief to his knees was laughable.  
Yet here he was. Speechless. He had stopped mid sentence, and began coming towards you. His eyes were locked on you and for a moment his expression was unreadable. Intense. Serious. A fleeting image of Loki taking you, right there, in front of everyone caused your heart to speed up.  
“My prince,” you spoke lightly with a half bow, looking up at him through your lashes.  
“You,” he said, his voice nearly cracking. He stopped, closed his eyes, and let out a breath. “I am honestly at a loss of words, darling. You have truly caught me off guard.” He looked back at you with new determination, a half cocked smile on his face.  
Before he could speak again, they announced dinner to begin. You offered Loki a wink before turning away, off to find your seat. The tables were set in a half circle, facing the main table where the royal family were seated. You were among the other off duty guards, ignoring their incessant looks at your dress. It wasn’t for them.  
As you lifted your glass to your lips, you were startled when you heard, “No, no, I shall be sitting here. You may take my seat. Yes, up there, it’s fine, tell them I said it is fine.” You turned, confused, to see Loki stealing a seat out from under one of your superior officers.  
Odin stood at his table to begin speaking as you whispered through your smile and applause, “What in the nine realms are you doing?” Surely he was going too far. You stifled back a laugh as the man who’s chair he stole awkwardly approached the family and took a seat beside a very confused Frigga. When she saw you and Loki, she smiled accepting the company.  
Everyone was so focused on the speech they failed to notice Loki slide his chair against yours. His voice was husky as he whispered in your ear, “I thought I would be able to better appreciate your efforts,” his hand slid up your thigh, finding the slit of your skirt, “at your side.”  
You inhaled sharply, moving only your eyes to make sure no one was noticing his actions. They were all too enthralled in the king’s words.  
“Shhh,” he teased, his hand traced your flesh, bringing them up closer to your underwear. “Mustn't draw attention, darling.” His fingers danced along your inner thigh. Your hands were on the table, clenched in tight fists as you fought for restraint, from slapping Loki or falling into him, you weren’t sure. Food was set out before the two of you but eating was the last thing on your mind. “Oh, sweet y/n, you’re simply flustered.” He brought his fingers against your mound, running a single digit up against the cotton of your panties. Your breath escaped you and you felt a flutter in your stomach as the finger curled against you, causing wetness to seep through the fabric. You managed to move a hand down to his, grabbing hold of his wrist. “Should I consider that a reaction?” Your nails dug into his skin as he pulled on the elastic, threatening to go in. “Concede and I’ll stop.” Two fingers pulled at them now, threatening to go in. “Unless you would like me to go on?”  
You were barely able to keep your breathing steady as the king finished his speech and everyone began to clap. It was enough to bring you back from your heated trance and you brought your hands up to mimic the others. Loki did the same, but his eyes were fixated on you.  
When everyone was done and began to eat, you excused yourself without looking at him, promptly making your way to a deserted corridor. Leaning back against the wall, you closed your eyes and caught your breath, feeling chills run through you as your mind replayed the sensation of Loki’s hands on you.  
Your break was short lived before you heard his voice. “Master sergeant, leaving so soon?”  
“That was uncalled for.” You weren’t angry, but the forwardness in a room filled with people escalated everything.  
Loki tsked. “I believe you were the one who brought the game to the banquet, darling,” he rebuted as his eyes scanned you up and down. He brought a hand up to your cheek and, against yourself, you leaned into it. As unexpected and simple as the gesture was, you saw a shift in his eyes. The slyness gone, replaced with a tender longing you had never seen there before.  
You both heard voices approaching and, without your consent, Loki wrapped his arms around you to pull you behind a curtain. Faint light came from outside, just barely highlighting your faces. Loki’s hand slid up your back, coming around to your face and tilting your chin to meet his gaze.  
This wasn’t a game.  
He wasn’t teasing.  
As his lips, light as a feather, brushed against yours, you felt years of pent up tension release all at once. What started off as gentle escalated and hinged on animalistic. One hand was tangled in your hair while the other was on your ass, pulling you against him. You could feel his excitement growing when he grinded against your hips.  
“Come to my room tonight after the coronation,” he breathed into you as you both fought to control yourselves. “I will have you tonight. All of you.”  
You agreed.  
But it was not meant to be. After the coronation, the unthinkable happened. Frost giants infiltrated the palace, catching everyone off guard. While you were busy rounding your men and trying to take control of the situation, Thor led Loki and the rest of his friends on a foolish mission to Jotunheim to destroy the frost giants once and for all. Odin was so enraged that he exiled Thor to Midgard until he became worthy of his title and powers.  
Loki followed his father back up the bifrost bridge, his head hanging low. You were standing at attention with the other guards, daring not to step out of line no matter how much you wished to comfort him. Your troop followed Odin up through the palace as Loki hung back in the courtyard. Still you couldn’t pull away to see him and it ate away at you.  
But you had to follow orders.  
No one spoke to Odin of his decision, Frigga even keeping to herself about the matter. Everyone in the palace was grim. The joy of Thor being sucked from Asgard was a heartbreaking defeat.  
Late in the night, Odin asked you and and another guard to follow him to the vault beneath the castle. At the door, he ordered you to all stand at attention. As odd as the scenario was, you did as you were instructed.  
You wondered if you would be relieved soon so you could go find Loki and speak to him about what had happened. You knew he must have been distraught from seeing his brother cast out. He looked utterly defeated when you saw him on the bifrost. He also had another look about him, one you couldn’t quite understand.  
“Guards!” A scream within the vault.  
But it wasn’t Odin.  
“Guards, please help!” Loki. You and another guard rushed in the room to find the king lying across the stairs, his son at his side. Where had Loki come from?  
Odin was carried up to his room where Frigga fell at his side. She didn’t cry but you could see the heartbreak on her face. Loki came in next. He only just now realized it was you who helped carry his father up.  
“Leave them,” you heard another guard command. You passed a glance at Loki, his face wrought with fear. You fought the desire to go to him.  
But you had to follow orders.  
With Thor gone, Loki was crowned king of Asgard in Odin’s place. This night had proven to be harder than you had ever imagined.  
When you were finally relieved you went to Loki’s room. It was in the early hours of the morning and you weren’t sure if you should disturb him. You didn’t know how long you stood outside his door before you finally managed the courage to knock.  
“Enter.” His voice was hoarse but alert..  
When you saw him, sitting alone in his room at the foot of his bed, your chest ached. He lost his brother. He was close to losing his father. But there was something else about him you couldn’t quite touch. “Loki…. I….” you couldn’t find the words.  
“Y/n….” He hung his head down, his hands folding on his knees. “I have a request.”  
“Name it.” There was no hesitation. No question. Anything.  
“I would like you to leave Asgard.”  
The suggestion stunned you. “Leave Asgard?” you repeated. “Whatever for?”  
His eyes were harsh when they fell upon you, so much so it was startling. This wasn’t like him. “I need you to lead a small expedition to Alfheim.” When you went to protest, to tell him how absurd it was, he cut you off. “Take four men with you. Leave. Tonight.”  
Again you had to follow orders.  
And in the days to come, you would realize the truth of why Loki sent you away. He helped plan an attack on his own father, the king, as well as lead an attack on Midgard. You didn’t understand it. It made no sense. Why would Loki do such a thing?  
Then you learned of the devastating secret Odin had kept from Loki all his life. He was a frost giant. The news was startling. But not as much as hearing that, in a battle with his brother and father, Loki had fallen into the abyss.  
And for the first time in years, you cried. You couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened if, for just that one night, you hadn’t followed orders and gone to Loki sooner? Would things have ended different?


	3. The Dominant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes places during The Avengers and contains Lemon/Smut

An entire year passed before you discovered the truth.   
In the months following Loki falling into the abyss, you had rose in the ranks as one of Odin’s most trusted and powerful soldiers. You were known for following orders. But in all honestly, the last night you saw Loki, you still regretted not breaking away to check on him sooner or questioning why he would send you away from Asgard. It always haunted you, not knowing if you could have done something more.   
One day, between patrols, Odin asked to speak to him in private. There he sat, alone, on his throne. His face was contorted, so much so that you asked if his highness was alright.   
“Y/n, I have news,” he strained.   
When he didn’t continue, you pressed, “What news, sire?”   
“My son. Your prince. Loki. He is alive.” It felt like your heart stopped in your chest at the realization of his words. Before you could fathom this information, he continued, “He has traveled again to Midgard. I am afraid he is wreaking havoc.”   
And like that your chest felt empty.   
“Y/n, you are my most capable soldier. A trusted friend of this family. I want you to go and retrieve my son. Stop him before he can cause any more trouble amongst the midgardians. Bring my son home.”  
“Your highness,” you responded, unsure how to feel, “wouldn’t Thor prefer to go in my stead? I just don’t know if I should…”  
Odin cut you off, “I have a task for you that Thor would not be able to commit to. One that I trust you to fulfill as a member of my royal guard.”   
You knew before he spoke the words, knew before he could even make the suggestion, as tears welled in his good eye, that Odin would ask you to end Loki should he prove too difficult to manage.   
Loki had already devastated so many before, betrayed Asgard, betrayed you.   
And you had always followed orders.   
*****  
Odin had hidden away a second means to travel between the realms, which he had shown you once before when he brought you back from Alfheim. The only items you travelled with were the cloak on your back, a pound of gold for trade, and a simple dagger with a deactivated tracker implanted in the hilt. Should you fneed help, pressing the beacon would call back to Asgard.   
But you had no use for the dagger. Just the beacon. You just knew, deep down, that Loki would listen to you. Listen to reason. Whatever dark place he was coming from, you could pull him from it.   
It only took an hour walking through the Midgardian city of New York to realize you were clearly an eye sore to its people. But you didn’t want to blend it. You needed Loki to see you.   
And see you is what he did.   
The world around you vanished and you were inside of an underground bunker, clueless as to how you got there.   
Dressed like a Midgardian, carrying a bizarre walking stick, Loki appeared before you with a man encasing the brovada of a trained killer standing at his side.   
“Lady y/n,” you heard Loki speak, his eyes locked onto yours. “What a pleasure. Barton, we have a guest, stop looking so serious.”  
Your brow furrowed as you fought the urge to cry out. Seeing him standing there, as well as ever, as cocky as ever. The last time you saw him he ordered you to leave Asgard, an order you foolishly followed. He had tricked you before betraying so many others. And now, here he stood.   
You reared back and slapped him across his the face.   
The metal of Barton’s gun was on your temple but your resolve never faltered. Your eyes were still steaming into Loki’s.   
“A pleasure indeed. Really, Barton, bullets would be useless against her,” Loki spoke clearly, a half smile across his face. “Now leave.” The man did as he was asked without a second of hesitation. A midgardian willingly following Loki’s orders was concerning.  
“You coward.” Tears threatened to fall but you managed to keep your composure. “Hiding away all this time? From your parents. From Thor. From me. How dare you.” Your rage flared again and you swung at him, only to have your hand caught before grazing his cheek.   
Loki’s smile left, a crazed look left instead, like a wild animal. “Tell me, darling, was it Allfather that sent you here?”   
You didn’t answer.   
“Of course he did. So where is Thor, hm? Surely Odin’s favorite is somewhere around here. Skulking around, chasing after the midgardian women, no doubt.”   
“I came alone.”   
Loki’s interest peaked and you saw a shift in his demeanor. “Alone?”   
You yanked your hand away from him. “I am only here to bring you home, Loki. Odin wishes you to return..”   
His eyes narrowed as he hissed, “You expect me to abandon my efforts here and return with you? To Asgard?” He scoffed. “To spend the remainder of my life in prison? What a hard choice you have given me, y/n.”   
“There is nothing here for you, Loki,” you pleaded. When you saw anger start to rise in him, you took a step towards him, lowering your guard, adding, “If not for Odin, do it for me. Come home. Whatever trials you face, I will be at your side, Loki. I swear it. Please.”   
“Come home with you…” he echoed.   
You weren’t sure how to read him, he was not usually so stoic. His fingers tightened on on the staff in his hands and you thought you saw a blue sheen go across his eyes.   
“No,” he said sharply, bringing the tip of the staff to your chest, “I think not.”   
A surge erupted starting at your chest until you lost all sensations. You weren’t cold, weren’t warm. You couldn’t smell, couldn’t taste. You could only see.   
“Follow me,” Loki ordered and, with no reaction on your part, you followed.   
‘What is happening?’ Horror overcame you, feeling trapped within yourself. You legs moved like they were your own, your arms at your side, your head straight. But it wasn’t you.   
As you followed Loki out of the room, you realized the span of his agenda. Several, if not a hundred humans were here, typing away on computers, working with weapons. He turned around another corner and saw Burton about to press other matters. “I will deal with it in a moment, I have urgent business to deal with now,” he told him. Burton stepped aside like a robot. These Midgardians were under the same control. How Loki got ahold of such power you were unsure.   
Up a flight of stairs, Loki held a metal vault door open for you to walk past him. When you entered, you saw nothing more than a simple bed in the corner. “Lay down,” he commanded, and you did so. With a flick of his hand, he willed chains from the wall above the bed to come down and encase your wrists. You were trapped.   
Loki’s eyes were menacing, but you noticed something else. The blue hue that was there before. Was it possible Loki wasn’t himself? In all the years you had known him, in all of the years you both insistently teased one another, he had never acted in such a way. He sounded like himself, but the cruelty of his words and actions were much more than the god of mischief. This was the work of someone who was truly chaotic.   
Once you were secure, he touched your chest again with the staff. You looked up at him, confused. “Loki, stop, whatever you’ve done, it can all be forgiven!” You pulled against your restraints, pleading, “Let me help you!”  
He ignored you. “Do you know why I lifted your enchantment, y/n? Because I want you to be fully aware of what is happening.” Before you could speak again, he grabbed hold of your face, his palm over your mouth, his fingers digging at your cheeks. “When I make you scream- oh and I will, pet, countless times- I want it to be the real you. Unencumbered by influence. Unmasked. Purely, simply, you.” He reached into your cloak and presented your knife. He began cutting away at your shirt, never leaving your gaze as he continued, “I want you to feel every part of this. I don’t want there to be any confusion of what I am about to inflict upon you.” As the last of your clothes were torn away, he stood straight and took in the sight of you. “Because there will be pain, my darling. Never ending. But also pleasure. I will promise you that.” Running the knife down the chain binding your hands and then down your arms, he went on. “You say you came because Odin asked you to? He wanted you to bring me home? And I’m sure to kill me should I refuse?” His knife stopped at your breast, the edge gently scratching against your soft skin. “I want you to remember that. Remember he is the one who delivered you to me. Remember he is the reason you are here now. With no help. With no hope.”   
You shook your head away from his hand. “Loki, stop this madness...”   
“I am madness!” he roared back. Your eyes widened as you looked at him, feeling an ache in your heart for the Loki you once knew. Could he be so far gone? “Do you know what I am, y/n? Do you know what I truly am?” You sulked back, biting your lip. “Say it.” You didn’t answer. “Say it!”  
“I know you’re a frost giant. I don’t care. It didn’t change things before I knew and it doesn’t change things now.”   
With a wave of his hand, Loki’s garments vanished and he stood before you in all his glory. “It has changed everything.” He moved between your legs, laying across you and bringing a hand up the back of your head. His fingers tangled in your hair, gathering it up in a tight grip that felt like it could rip your scalp. You tried to ignore his growing eagerness rubbing between your thighs, tried to ignore the turbid desires forming in the pit of your stomach. “Odin is not your king. I am your king.”  
Your jaw tightened as you stared back at him, your eyes mere centimeters apart.   
His hand jerked your head back. “Say it!”  
Again you didn’t answer.   
Loki brought your leg up straight against his shoulder, pressing your knee against your chest. The stretch was sharp between your thighs as you did your best to muffle back cries. Of anger. Of fear. Of frustration. Of anticipation. Your mind was a whirlwind.   
Loki brought his mouth to your ear, breathing lightly into as he whispered, “You do look lovely when you’re helpless.” Your arms pulled hard against the restraint as he buried himself deep inside of you in one powerful thrust. His girth and length surprised you. You let out a scream, your back jerked violently against him. Still holding tightly to your hair, his other hand snaked up your body to your breast, squeezing the tender flesh, his fingers pinching and teasing your nipple to attention. He pulled away and pumped back into you with the same force. Again you screamed, this time mixed with a moan as your flesh melted against his.   
He lifted your other leg just as high, both knees folded against you as he towered over you. The pressure was too much and your thighs moved against him. His hands took hold of both your ankles, pinning you down at that angle. “No, darling, you are to keep yourself open for me. You’re going to be a good little pet, y/n, you just need proper training.”   
With every hard thrust, with every slam of his hip into yours, you were losing yourself. Your stifled back cries, fought as hard as you could, but in the end you succumb. All these years of thirsting for the god of mischief were your undoing and you found yourself moving along with his erratic thrusts. Your hips moved with his, your moans becoming ragged breaths of ecstasy as you spiralled within yourself.   
“Who is your king?” he asked, his husky voice warm against your ear. You fought not to answer until he leaned up, pushing your ankles with such force you thought he’d break you. “Who! Is! Your! King!” He commanded between each powerful thrust.   
“Loki!” you screamed, “Loki!”   
His mouth crashed against yours as you felt his seed erupt inside of you. The sensation was enough to make you reach your height. You moaned into his kiss feeling yourself release.   
Loki held you in your awkward position while he collected himself, absentmindedly running his fingers through your hair. When he finally pulled away, you felt the incredible ache in your legs when they unfolded from you. You couldn’t hold back the whimper.   
“My sweet pet,” Loki laughed, bringing his hands down your hips and digging his fingers into your flesh. “We’ve only just begun.”  
For three days Loki took you, hour after hour, sometimes leaving to do whatever tasks he was doing with his enslaved midgardians. Always coming back to you, ravishing you, taunting you and breaking you. He didn’t speak to you for any other reason than to spit commands at you. You were left chained to the bed day in and day out.   
But on the fourth day, when he came to you, he was dressed in his midgardian clothing again, carrying the awful walking stick.   
Loki looked you over and you saw, for the first time, what resembled remorse and hesitance in his eyes. “Oh, darling,” he cooed, tracing a finger up your jaw. His hand caught your chin and tilted your head up to his, lightly brushing his lips against yours. It was the most gentle he had been to you since you came to Midgard. He pulled back, pressing his forehead against yours. You wondered if a part of his old self was bubbling back to the surface, but his words shook you when he asked, “Would you stay with me? Would you stand at my side as I rule over these pathetic people?”  
“Stay with you? Here?” He nodded. “Loki…” You felt tears sting your eyes, felt the years of longing that exploded in that very bed in the last few nights. Abandon Asgard. You knew this wasn’t really Loki. You knew he was corrupted somehow and you couldn’t bring yourself to believe in this lie. “No, Loki, I cannot.”   
He exhaled sharply and moved away from you. There was nothing else to be said. You hung your head, knowing there was a real chance you may never see your god of mischief again.   
When you looked back up, he was holding your dagger in his hand. He had seen these Asgardian devices, knew what it was for. He looked back up at you as he pressed the beacon and tossed it at your side.   
“I wish you luck in all future endeavors, lady y/n,” he said simply before removing the chains from your wrists with the same motion that locked you there. He turned and left you bound naked to the bed.   
Your head laid back. Your body hurt so much from the days of strain and abuse that you couldn’t move “And I’ll pray for your failure, my prince.”   
It was less than an hour before you heard a banging on the vault door. Suddenly Thor came bursting in.   
“Y/n!” he exclaimed. He saw you, all of you. The god of thunder stood in utter disbelief, unsure of what to do. You struggled to sit up, your elbows buckling under your weight. Thor rushed to your side, wrapping the bed sheet around you. “Y/n….” His voice deepened, you could hear the rage behind his tone. “Did Loki do this to you?”   
Your fingers drew the sheet closer to you and all he could do was lift you up in his arms. In all of your shame you couldn’t admit that you didn’t hate every moment of it, which was probably the worst of the pain he had caused you.   
Thor took you back to Asgard where Odin and Frigga were awaiting you. When she saw your state, Frigga lashed out at Odin for putting you on this mission without speaking to anyone. She set you up in the palace in a room with attendants around the clock to help you heal. Before Thor left left your side to return to Midgard, you grabbed hold of his wrist. Sif came and, regardless of how indifferent you two had been, she stayed at your side the entire time.   
“Something is wrong with Loki,” you told him. You saw Thor’s jaw clench and you pressed on, “Someone is making him do this.” You made him promise to bring Loki back to Asgard. To you.   
The Avengers managed to defeat Loki and his army. By the time Thor brought him back, you were well enough to walk down to the throne room to see him be brought before Odin for punishment. You were at the doors, one of the first to see Loki being brought in on chains. When his eyes met yours, you felt a shutter to you core. He wasn’t the cocky, heartless man you had seen on Midgard. He was a broken shell of the Loki you had once held in such high regard. You could see it all. The torment of his lies, the pain of his betrayals. His conscious had come, just far too late to help him. His lips moved but you couldn’t hear or make out the words he said.   
“Oh Loki, you sighed as he passed, his gaze not leaving you until the chains forced him past. “What have you become?”


	4. The Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place during Thor: The Dark World; it contains lemon/smut

It took you two days to gain the strength to see Loki.   
Dressed in your civilian Asgardian roboes, your soldiers didn’t recognize you when you came down to the dungeon. They certainly seemed distressed when they realized who you were, but also hesitant to let you pass.   
They tried to deter you, asking, “Are you sure you wish to speak to him, m’lady? He has been troubled. Even Frigga only travels here through hologram…”  
“I will speak with him and you will not interfere,” you ordered simply. They conceded and you made your way to him.   
Loki’s didn’t move, only held his book but his gaze was fixated on you all the way until you opened the glass, stepped through, and allowed it close behind you.   
“You were always like Thor,” he hissed, looking back at his book. “Bravery teetering on stupidity.”   
“I believe there was once a time you called that trait in both of us admirable,” you answered simply.   
He clicked his tongue as he let out a short, sarcastic laugh. “You know, last I saw you, you were naked, chained to my bed.” His vision sharp as a blade as they met yours. “And now you come to see me in this prison. And in person while other are too afraid to look upon me.” He laughed again. “The world is mysterious indeed.”  
You let out a sigh and felt yourself relax a bit. Being tense would get you nowhere, and you could see the pain on the broken god’s face, even if he was too proud to admit it.   
“I’m not angry with you,” you had to say. “I have forgiven you, Loki, won’t you forgive yourself?”  
The expression on his face softened for a moment, but the deflection went back up and he snickered. “What a relief, I shall sleep soundly tonight knowing you don’t harbor a grudge.”   
You swallowed the lump in your throat knowing his facade was his only defense right now. “Loki, I know you weren’t you when you did all of those things. I know there was something more to it all.” You took a step closer to him. “Tell me what happened, tell me who was pulling the strings on Midgard. I can speak to your father, Odin will listen if he hears the truth.”   
“The truth…” Loki’s eyes went back to his book. He sighed and closed it, looking back up at you with a heavy sigh. “The truth is….” He stood, taking a long stride to you. “I wish to rule.” Another stride and he was upon you. “It is my birthright.”  
“You never wanted to rule, never had an inkling for the crown,” you retorted. “I don’t believe you.”   
“Then perhaps you didn’t know me as well as you’d like to think?”  
You bit your lip, now restraining yourself from striking at him. You could see his falter. He was putting up this fight but you couldn’t understand why. “Fine. If you won’t tell Odin the truth, then I beg of you. Tell me. Tell me what happened to you after you fell from the bifrost.”   
He looked surprised by your request. His tone lightened a bit, but you weren’t sure if it was with good intentions. “Y/n, you say you think someone was controlling me?” His hand came up and graced your cheek. “The truth is I was under some influence, yes. I was working for someone more powerful than anyone, even Allfather.” His fingers went back through your hair. “But the entire truth of it all is that, while someone was pushing me further and further into the darkness, everything I did was my own doing.” He tilted your chin up and his eyes, as serious as ever, scanned your face as he said, “Despite if I was not myself, everything the voice pushed me to do, I wanted. I wanted to rule. And I wanted to have you. Regardless of how I had to obtain those things, I went through the orders I was given with only an understanding of getting what it was I wanted. I am solely responsible for the things I have done.”  
You let out a sharp breath, feeling your chest tighten. “I know you, Loki, and even if you say you want those things, I don’t believe for a moment you would have done all of this without that influence. You’re not this demon you make yourself out to be…”  
Loki gripped your hair and hissed through clenched teeth, “You think you know me, y/n? You think that because you know now that I’m a frost giant that all you have to do is accept it and it makes it all alright?” He took long strides towards you, but you stood your ground. You wouldn’t let him see you scared. “Do you think that just by saying you’ve forgiven me that I will miraculously become the same man I was before all of this?”   
You slapped his hand away. “I believe in you, Loki, I know you’re more than this.”  
His hand caught hold of your throat and slammed you backs into the wall. You didn’t fight him. You didn’t need to. That’s not why you were there. You were there to reason with him and if this made him feel more in control, then so be it.   
“You believe in a lie,” he hissed into your ear. “I am who I am now. I am the byproduct of all the lies your king has fed me, the one that helped kill your fellow Asgardians with the frost giants, the one who tried to rule over your pathetic midgardians.”   
He pulled you away from the wall, bringing your back against him while his arms wrapped tightly around you. He whispered to you, “I’m the same man who fucked you on Midgard. Chained you to the bed. Made a pet of you.” His fingers dug into your skin so sharply you thought he would draw blood. “And I could do it again, now...”   
“You are Loki, prince of Asgard!” you yelled over your shoulder at him. “Brother of Thor, son of Odin and Frigga. Being frost giant doesn’t change that, making these mistakes doesn’t change that, you daft man! One’s blood doesn’t decide their fate, Loki, you do! All you have to do is stop all this madness, stop all this fighting!”  
“I’m a monster!” he growled.  
“Then I’m in love with a monster!” The words left your mouth before you could stop them and you felt Loki’s arms drop as he stepped away from you. When you turned to look him in the eye, the pained expression across his face was clear. He looked afraid. Of you. Of himself. Of your words.   
“You foolish woman,” he breathed continuing to step back, his face contorted in self hatred and disgust. “Leave.”   
You took a step towards him, “Loki…”  
“Leave!” he roared. You stopped in your tracks. Nothing you did or said would help this right now. You had to accept that.   
When you knocked on the glass for the guard to open, you turned one last time to meet the rageful, broken eyes of the god of mischief. “I suppose that is my folly,” you told him, your lashes catching the tears you couldn’t hold back any longer. “But no matter what you have done or said to me, my feelings haven’t changed. The only person here who truly seems to believe you to be a monster is you, Loki. Your brother and I still care about you and we want to help you. But you have to to accept it. Accept the things you have done, and move on from it. We have.” He looked away, his fists so tight at his sides that his knuckles began to turn white.   
“Leave,” was all he could manage.   
With a sigh you did as you were asked.  
And two days later, the dark elves attacked. Frigga was killed protecting Thor’s Midgardian woman, Jane. You were heartbroken for Loki, even more so when Odin refused to allow him to attend the funeral. Instead of attending the ceremony, you went back to the dungeon.   
From the outside, he seemed to be pacing, not looking at anything in particular. He didn’t move and you wondered if he even notice you enter the cell.  
An illusion. In reality, he sat in the middle of the floor, his belongings, his furniture, all slammed against the walls. A caged animal in mourning. You saw the food the guards delivered smashed along with the rest of his things.   
“Loki…”  
His voice was clear, monotone, matter of fact. “The last time I saw her, do you know what I said?” He turned to look at you, his manner breaking your heart in two. His eyes were watery but he didn’t shed a tear. “I told her she wasn’t my mother.”   
How long had he sat there with that thought mulling over and over in his head? You collapsed onto the floor beside him and wrapped your arms around your Loki. Feeling his head lay against your shoulder, you expected to hear him sob, to push you away, to curse you, but he never did. Just stayed there.   
“I am not worthy of you,” he said finally. “I wasn’t worthy of her and I’m not worthy of you.”  
You hadn’t realized you had started crying but you could hear the cracks in your voice when you admitted again, “You are, without a doubt, exceptionally worthy of everything this life has to offer, Loki. You just need to get on the right path.”   
Loki barely pulled back from your hold to take your face in his hands. “And the last time I saw you, I told you to leave. What if I had lost you as well and lived with the fact that the last time I spoke to you…” You could see it now, the silent stream falling down his cheeks. Before you could take it in, his mouth came upon yours. The rush of his warm tongue in your mouth was enough to spike you on. Your hands came up and threaded through his hair, bringing him against you. He returned your hunger ten times, devouring you as he stood, pulling you to your feet. His hands dug through your clothes, undressing you as well as himself.   
You could feel the animalistic desire overpower him as he came upon you with such force that you stumbled back against the the wall. He pinned you against it as his mouth stayed on yours. His hands wandered downward, finding your entrance. You moaned softly into his kiss as he slipped a finger into you. It pumped gently before adding another finger.   
Your hips ground against his hand while his palm dig into your clit to create a delicious sensation building up inside of your stomach. You hands still in his hair, you couldn't help but pull. He withdrew his hand, moving both under your ass and sliding you up the wall. You legs wrapped around his waist and you readied yourself to take him. Feeling his tip at your entrance, beginning to ease in, you pulled back to look him in the eyes.   
They shined like emeralds, a mixture of all the pain, all the self hate, but also all the love and longing filling them, entrapment you in their gaze. Neither of you looked away as he moved slowly into you. Your mouth fell open as you moaned at the sensation of him filling you inch by inch. He brought his lips against your neck, muffling his own cries of pleasure against your skin. In a final move he filled you completely, your walls pulsating around him while he pulled you back up and then down onto him. The thrust quickened, your breath laboring, your legs quivering, you felt yourself coming to a rise that you didn’t wall to fall from.   
“Y/n,” he growled into your ear. As you felt yourself close to the edge, he withdrew and turned you around. You followed the unspoken command, leaning over, your hands on the cell wall, your legs spread. Once he pushed into you from behind, he brought your back against him and pinned you to the wall, his hand craning your face back for a kiss.   
Lost in yourself, lost in him, you spoke, “My king.”   
It was enough to send him over the edge. He brought his mouth into the nape of your neck, biting down on you as a harsh moan rattled in his throat, his hand covering your mouth as you nearly screamed out in ecstasy while his seed filled you. You both climaxed together, panting, unable to consume the other enough to be sated.   
When you finally managed to regain your composure, he turned you to face him and wrapped you in his arms. You looked around to see he had used his magic to make his cell look like an open grass field on top of a sun soaked hill. You recognized it right away.   
“This is where I held your hand for the first time,” he breathed into your ear as he wrapped his arms around you from behind. “Do you remember that day?” You turned to face him, unexpecting him to add, “I’ve known I love you since that moment my hand took yours.” He took your hand and brought it to his mouth, kissing your fingers. “You are mine, y/n. And I will do everything I can to become worthy of having you.”  
It was a hard task to leave Loki after that, but you knew you’d be missed from your station. You promised to come visit again soon, told him to try not to fret. You would speak to Odin. You would vouch for his redemption.  
But it was not meant to be.   
You were working your normal rounds when the orders from Odin came through the messengers. The midgardian was trying to escape. Stop her by any means necessary.   
Meeting Thor, Sif and Loki with the midgardian Jane was a surprise you weren’t expecting. “What are you doing?” you weren’t directing it to anyone in particular. None of them should be there.  
“Y/n…” Thor started, looking back at Loki. “We need to get off Asgard. We have to meet with the Dark Elves, we have a plan to stop this….”  
“Odin forbade her from leaving!” you yelled. You had orders.   
Loki stepped towards you, consenting. “You’re right,” he admitted, “He has. But this is the only way to defeat the elves, darling. We must go.”   
You narrowed your eyes at him, the sheer audacity of trying to sweet talk his way out of this was enraging. “I have orders, she is not to leave!”   
Loki grabbed hold of your hand, catching you off guard. “Please. Please, let us leave. Let us avenge our mother. Let us end this madness with the dark elves.” He looked into your eyes, squeezing your hand. “Please let us pass.”   
The internal struggle you felt was overwhelming. But looking at Loki, seeing the sincere desire he had to help, you couldn't deny it. For the first time in years, his eyes were that of the man you had once known. One who would lay down his life for his brother. For Asgard. For you.   
With a sigh, you stepped aside. “I will hold off the oncoming guards, but you must go. Now.” Sif stood at your side.   
“I will hold them off with you, sister.”   
The compradere was new, but welcomed. You stood for the first time, back to back with your sister, awaiting the soldiers.   
“You know he will only hurt you, y/n,” she warned.   
Your eyes cut through your helmet. You didn’t answer. The man she loved her entire life was leaving with a midgardian he hardly knew but obviously lusted over. The harsh reality was neither of you were getting what you wanted out of this. Neither of you knew if you’d see your princes again.  
“Just don’t kill any of my guards. Knock them out.”  
When Loki and Thor took Jane safely away, you and Sif gave yourselves up, not before taking out over one hundred Asgardian soldiers.   
Odin had all who went against him detained.  
It wasn’t long before news reached you of Loki’s death a the hands of the dark elves. You had thought your heart broken before, but this time was different. It was so empty, inside of you, knowing you’d never get to have him again. The pain was too much.   
Odin released everyone, his own heart heavy after losing Frigga and now Loki. When you were asked to return to your duties, you asked to speak to the Allfather. Alone.   
“What is it you wish to speak with me about, lady y/n?” His voice was softer than usual, lacking it’s usual strength.   
You couldn’t meet his gaze. “I have commited treason. Yet you ask me to return to my post?”  
“I trust your heart was in the right place, my dear. We all do what we must, what we are told, but sometimes, we know what is asked of us is not what is best. You were strong where I was weak. You are an incredible and wise soldier, y/n. Asgard is lucky to have you.”   
The words struck you. The night Odin banished Thor. The look on Loki’s face. The fact you wished to comfort him but you went on with your duties, followed your orders.   
You felt tears sting the corner of your eyes as you expressed, “Your majesty, I wish to resign from my position in your royal guard.”  
The words stunned the old man.   
You eyes went up to meet him, managing to keep your composure. “I need to rebuild myself, my king. I am not in any shape to serve anyone. I request a leave until I can fulfill my duties.”   
He was silent for a moment before nodding. “So be it.” Before you turned to take your leave, he added, “But know this. There is always a home for you here in Asgard, y/n.”   
As you walked out the front gates, you passed a soldier that, unbeknownst to you, stared you down as you left. He turned his attention back to the king, sure he was alone. The facade faded away and Loki stood, his hands out as he declared, “Hello father!”  
Later, once Loki had tricked Thor into believing he was Odin, he rushed throughout the palace, searching for you, still holding his illusion. Finally, he came to the bifrost.   
“Heimdall, where is y/n?” he commanded.  
“She has left.”   
Rage rose in his voice as he asked, “To where? Call her back this instant!”   
The keeper shook his head, explaining, “She no longer belongs to Asgard. She will return when she wishes to.”   
The realization of you being gone, just barely slipping through his fingers was too much. He finally had the throne he so desperately wanted but in the end, it cost him what he needed.


	5. The Redeemed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place during Thor: Ragnarok; contains lemon/smut

Loki was dead. There was nothing left on Asgard for you.

The first place you decided to go upon abandoning your home was Midgard. Once you arrived, you were surprised to be followed by your sister, Sif, who was hunting down an escaped sorceress named Lorelei. You were glad to help but when it came time for her to return home, you declined to return with her. You weren’t ready.

Grateful for your help, S.H.I.E.L.D offered you a home for the duration of your stay.

But the lifestyle was breaking you down.

Despite always having been a well rounded soldier, you had broken away from yourself. You began drinking, heavily, often staying out late at bars, getting into disputes and wandering the streets. You felt numb to the world, drowning in a sea of emptiness in order to hide from the despair you felt from finally having Loki and losing him for yet a second time.

When drinking wasn’t enough to help the pain, you decided to leave. Agent Coulson graciously offered you a small ship left over from the attack of the Dark Elves. You said goodbye to your new allies and left, unsure where you would wind up.

Liquor bottles littered the floorboard of your ship as you flew aimlessly through the vastness of space. You weren’t even sure you wanted to go anywhere. Drinking until you could no longer see straight, you drifted to sleep behind the wheel.

And that is how you became a lost thing.

And as all lost things do, you wound up crashing in Sakaar.

You were disturbed by the loud crashing of debris being thrown at your ship. The migraine you felt was overwhelming as you opened the latch and exited the ship. Immediately, you were surrounded by creatures dressed in, for lack of a better word, garbage. They poked and prodded before you came to your senses. You snatched a handmade spear from one of the garbage-men and cut them down.

“I like you. I’m gonna keep you,” you heard. Not a threat, but a promise. You looked up to see, to your surprise, a rather petite dark haired woman with fire in her eyes.

That is how you became friends with Valkyrie.

She was a bit different from the version of Valkyrie fighters you had heard about in stories growing up. You remembered your mom telling you all sorts of glory stories of these powerful women soldiers. They were your idles. They were your inspiration.

This Valkyrie, however, sas a drunk. But so were you.

Rather than sell you to the Grandmaster, she kept you for a drinking buddy. You were glad because frankly, the Grandmaster made you incredibly uncomfortable. He was nice enough, but you had seen first hand how he could smile at someone right before melting them away.

One day, when Valkyrie came home to her apartment, she told you, “Something rather unusual happened. Another Asgardian fell on Sakaar today.”

You wrinkled your nose, unsure of how that could happen. “Sounds like bad luck. Will the Grandmaster make him fight?”

“Nah,” she said, taking a chug from a bottle. “I think he likes him.” Her eyes met with yours and her eyebrows raised. “Like, very much likes him likes him.”

You let out a short laugh as she handed you her bottle. The idea you might know the Asgardian dawned on you so you asked, “Do you know his name?”

“Said his is Loki.”

The bottle slipped from you hand and shattered on the floor.

Valkyrie agreed to take you to the Grandmaster’s palace that night so you could find out if it really was the god of mischief. You weren’t surprised by the raging music and strobe lights with techno colors flashing all over. After all, it was the Grandmaster. When the bar was found, Valkyrie insisted on drinks. After downing a few with her, you went on with your search alone. You couldn’t be sure how many people were there but it was impossible to move without bumping into someone.

Loki saw you first. In mid sentence his eyes fell upon you in such a way that he felt the air escape his lungs. He shoved past the people he was speaking with and beelined for you, the whole time sure it couldn’t be really be you.

You were close to giving up, the alcohol mixing with the loud beats of the music, the painful doubt eating away at your hope. Anyone could say their name was Loki. Anyone could lie.

Then you felt it. A firm hand on your shoulder spun you around to see the brightest set of emerald eyes.

“Y/n….” Loki breathed, his astonishment written so plainly on his face. The two of you stared at one another, afraid that you couldn’t trust your vision. His hand came up to caress your face and you leaned into it. He was real. You were real. Neither of you could believe it. “Come with me.” he pulled your hand, leading you through the crowds without another word.

Loki pulled you into a separate apartment. When the door closed, you could no longer hear the rest of the world. There was only here. There was only you and Loki.

You couldn’t even grasp a question, only asking, “How?”

“I suppose I should start by telling you I survived the fight with the dark elves.”

You closed your eyes and took a breath, readying yourself so you didn’t become angry. “And then?”

“I returned home and you were already gone. Heimdall wouldn’t tell me where you went so I remained on Asgard expecting you to return,” he explained, his eyes showing the months of torment and waiting. “But you never came home.”

You shook your head. “If I had known, I would have. I saw Sif on Midgard but she didn’t tell me you were alive!”

Loki bit his lip. “That would be because I was stepping in for father….”

You pressed, “In what way?”

“You see, and don’t be mad, darling, it started off as a bit of fun, but I sort of took on his image and ran the kingdom….” Your hand went across his face before you could comprehend the full extent of what he was saying. “But he allowed it! He left, said he had a bit of soul searching or whatnot to do.” It didn’t make you feel better but you let out a sigh.

“So he is still alive at least.”

“Well….” And that’s when he told you the rest of the story. About Hela, the goddess of Death. “She is how I came to be here in Saakar. She cornered brother and myself in the bifrost and I fell off. Thor…” He sighed. “I don’t know. He was still fighting her when I fell.”

You immediately told him the two of you had to return to your home.

“No,” Loki spoke indefinitely. “You don’t realize how powerful Hela is, y/n. She crushed Mjölnir with one hand. She cannot be stop”

You narrowed your eyes at him, declaring, “So you’ll let Asgard fall because you’re afraid of your big sister?”

His lip became a thin line as he let out a huff. “We are not returning.”

“I am not like you, Loki, I cannot simply abandon my people…”

“Then tell me, darling, exactly how did you get to Saakar in the first place?”

The anger rose in you at the incredulous question knowing that the answer was less than heroic. “That’s different. I thought you died, I couldn’t be there anymore. Not to mention I left Asgard in peace.”

His hand came up to your face and you could see his desperation, even hear it in his voice as he pleaded, “Don’t go back, y/n. Please. We deserve a life together. On Saakar we can have that.” He brought his forehead to yours. “But not on Asgard. We were never meant to have one another on Asgard. Please.”

There was no internal fighting. There was no question. You would return to Asgard. But, if Loki was to remain here, you would have your prince one last time. Instead of answering, you brought your lips against his, immediately feeling the rush of all the pain, frustration and longing the two of you had all these years boiling over. He returned your affection by kissing you harder, grabbing hold of your ass and bringing your hips against his.

His reaction was clear, his desire apparent. The two of you ripped through clothes, grabbing at each other as if you would die without the other. He kissed you while guiding you back onto the bed, laying you down.

But then Loki paused.

“What is it?” you asked. The god of mischief was never one to hesitate.

“You,” he said simply, holding himself above you, taking in the sight. His hand came up and traced your jaw, running back through your hair. “Not a day has gone by that I haven’t thought about this moment. Thought about what I would do when I had you in my arms again.” His body slid down yours, leaving trails of kisses over your neck, along your collar, down your stomach. He propped your thighs on either side of his shoulders, his gaze coming up to meet yours. “Do you know what it’s been like to crave you all this time?” He ran a tongue up your inner thigh. “And now I finally have you.”

His mouth found your mound, his tongue flicking gingerly across your clit. You let out a soft moan, feeling his hands come up your torso and take hold of your breasts to tease your nipples to attention. His mouth ate at you hungrily, his tongue licking up and down your folds before using his finger to move inside of you. Your hips moved softly against his hand, your breathing quickened. He added another finger while he sucked against your sensitive part making your hands dig into the bed sheets to steady yourself.

You hadn’t realized you were panting until calling to him, “Loki…”

His mouth only worked harder, his fingers digging deeper. You pulled at his hair, aching from the slow movement he used. Your body was begging for release. His face pulled back but his fingers kept curing slowly inside of you as he added a third finger.

“Loki!” you cried out, your hips bucking against his hand. He put his other hand down on your stomach, stopping you from moving like your body wanted.

“Shhh, there’s plenty of time, my pet. I am going to savor every moment I have with you.”

The feelings were becoming so intense you could feel your legs begin to quiver as the fingers moved at an agonizing slow, deep rhythm inside of you, bringing you to the edge but not letting you finish. You let out a harsh moan when he swiftly moved his hand away and slid himself inside to take over. He lifted your legs up onto his shoulders, still going slow, but now deeper, thicker. His hands held tight to your hips, pinning you hard to the bed so you couldn’t move against him. Your hands slammed into his chest, your nails digging into his skin. The slow motion was intense, and your body begged for release.

“Loki!” you called out again, about to explode. “My king, please!”

A growl escape his throat as he forced himself to stop. “Begging now, y/n? How unlike you.”

While he was distracted, you pulled your legs from his shoulders and snaked them around his waist. Your heels dug into his hips, spurring him hard into you. He couldn’t contain himself any longer, now pumping in and out at a faster pace as the need to own you consumed him. He rolled over, lifting you on top of him. Rather than let you take lead, he continued his motion, lifting your hips and lowering you onto him. As he readied to finish, he sat up, drawing you against him. His mouth caught yours and you moaned into each other as you both flew over the edge.

He never loosened his grip on you, even when he lowered his face onto your chest.

“Y/n,” he said, “I never want to live another moment away from you.”

You felt a tug on your heart, knowing he would have to. You couldn’t abandon your Asgard.

That night, Loki fell asleep with his arms tight around you. Before getting up to get dressed, you bent over to kiss him.

“I’m sorry,” you told him, brushing a loose strand of his hair back, admiring his face for the last time.

Under the cover of nightfall, you made it back to your ship. Quietly, you left Saakar, Valkyrie, and Loki behind.

Once you were on Asgard, you hid in the mountain ranges. It didn’t take long before you came across Heimdall, who informed you about the state of Asgard’s people. You helped him round up any still left in the city to hide away in the temples, careful to avoid any detection from Hela. When Thor contacted Heimdall and let him know he was to be returning, to have everyone ready to escape, you felt shock and a slight disappointment. You were to leave your home, your Asgard, to this goddess of death. With a heavy heart, you helped lead your people to the bifrost.

Hela’s undead army was waiting. You and Heimdall lead the fight, breaking through their stone and bone corpses, hearing the roaring cries of your fellow Asgardians, civilians, taking up arms at your side.

That’s when it became apparent. Asgard was it’s people. Never the place. And with that you found more strength. You were going to save your people. 

But your masses were not equal to this enemy and when Fenris was unleashed upon you all, you didn’t know what could be done. They were overpowering you all. The outcome looked bleak until you saw it. Or rather him.

“Your savior is here!” Loki declared, flying in on a massive ship. Your heart was overwhelmed. When he laid eyes on you, the regret was transparent. He leapt from the ship and came to your side. “I fear I have always just been one disappointment after another for you, my darling, y/n.”

“I like to think of it as you being dramatic and just wanting to have all the attention when you do actually decide to help.” You smiled at him as he let out a short laugh.

“I am truly not worthy of you,” he spoke softly. Your sword came crashing down on an approaching undead soldier.

“Then by all means,” you yelled over your shoulder, “Kill these damned things and become worthy!”

The two of you, for the first time, fought side by side, slaying the masses of corpses that just continued to keep coming. When the number just wouldn’t slow, only build, you felt a sense of relief when Thor came crashing down on the bridge. Lightning engulfed him, striking those he lashed out against. God of thunder indeed.

When Thor gave Loki the command to begin Ragnarok, you were stunned. “I’m coming with you,” you demanded. Without letting him answer, you ran towards Valkyrie’s ship. The two of you made it to the doors of Odin’s trophy room when you became overran with soldiers.

“I’ll hold them off, go summon Surtur!” Before Loki could protest, you shoved him in and closed the doors. You swung your sword methodically before feeling the sting of other wounds begin to creep up your body. The sensation was surprising, enough to distract you from the spear that came flying through the air, pinning you by your upper right shoulder to the wall. You let out a ghastly scream, feeling a sword slash into your thigh. Calming down on ragged breath, you pulled yourself from the wall and removed the spear. Your vision was becoming blurry, your breathing labored. You continued on, feeling your blood seep through your wounds. Fire began to engulf the corridor, causing the undead to dismantle. Loki had done it. Your body collapsed on the ground as he came out of the room.

“Y/n!” he hollered, getting to your side. You couldn’t answer. Everything was becoming a blur, your body cold. “Y/n, hold on!” He lifted you bridal style and ran through the halls before finding his ship.

The last thing you saw was Loki as he set you in the copilot’s chair.

The last thing you felt was him kiss your forehead.

The last thing you heard was him declare, “I love you.”

And then everything went black.


	6. The Savior

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place during Infinity Wars (the beginning); contains lemon/smut

There was a steady beeping sound. That was the first thing you noticed as you teetered on the edge of consciousness. The faint beeping and occasional incoherent words. All you knew now was that you weren’t dead, at least not completely. When you tried to move you could tell something was pressed against you, something large and heavy.   
You continued to stir until you could finally hear someone say your name.   
With a groan you managed to open your eyes.   
“There’s our lovely lady,” Valkyrie said with a grin. “How are you feeling?”   
You groaned again, pushing yourself to sit up. “How long have I been out?” Before she could answer your eyes took in the room you were in. A medical port of a ship. “Asgard is gone... “ you vocalized. Your mission was a success but the torment of knowing your home had been destroyed was so fresh it stung your soul.   
That’s when you realized it was Loki that was pressed to you, his hand holding firm to your stomach. He was sound asleep in your cot cuddled up to you.   
“Yeah, he wouldn’t leave your side,” Valkyrie told you. “A real mess that one was when he brought you on board.”   
You ran your fingers through his long loose strands. The pain of losing Asgard fell away to the comfort of having him at your side. You asked, “How are our people?”   
“They’re coping,” she admitted with a sigh. “It was hard for them to see Surtur destroy Asgard but they understand it was the only way to defeat Hela.” When Loki began to grumble, finally waking up himself, she offered you a smile, adding, “I’ll let you two have a moment.”  
Valkyrie left just as Loki’s eyes fluttered open. “Good morning,” you whispered to him as you planted a kiss on his forehead.   
His eyes went alit as he sat up. “Y/n!” His hands came on either side of your face and he mouth came onto yours. You could feel the tears begin to stream down his cheeks as he pressed into you. “I thought I had lost you…”   
You brought your hands over his and kissed his palms. “Now you know what you have been doing to me all these years.” You didn’t mean your comment to be cruel but you could see the regret in his eyes.   
“I will become worthy of you, y/n. I will fight night and day to be the man that you deserve.”  
You smiled sweetly at him, telling him, “You’ll have the rest of our lives to prove yourself to me.” Loki wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into another kiss.   
Thor came in, undoubtedly told by Valkyrie that you were finally awake.   
“Oh, y/n!” he exclaimed, coming to your side. “I am thrilled to see you feeling better! Has Loki told you the news?” When his eyes caught his brother’s his grin faded away to panic.   
You looked at Loki who let out a nervous laugh.   
“What news?” you asked.   
Thor cut in, “That you….” Loki cut daggers with his eyes. “That…. We…. are…” He struggled. “Going to Midgard. Yes. We are going to Midgard. We are going there, that is the news.”   
You furrowed your brow between the two of them. “That’s… great?”   
“Yes, excellent, I knew you’d be thrilled, my darling,” Loki saved. You didn’t know what to make of their strange behavior but you were too exhausted from your recovery to question anything. You’d find out eventually anyhow.   
Your wounds had healed enough for you to leave the infirmary, which Loki took as an excellent time to take you to his room. He insisted, no, demanded to carry you bridal style. “You were unconscious the last time I did this,” he told you. “And you bleeding out everywhere frankly ruined all romance of the gesture .”   
His humor, his snark, the light in his eyes. You couldn't believe it. It was as if these last few bitter years had never happened. While his arms cradled you, you took in the sight of your god of mischief. He had finally returned to you, perhaps a little wounded but time would heal him. It would heal you both.   
As he laid you in his bed, you couldn’t help but laugh. “What is it, my darling?”  
“You had told me on Saakar that we weren’t meant to be together on Asgard,” you marveled, “Now I am wondering if you are a prophet.”   
Loki smiled and let out a short chuckle. “Yes indeed. And would you like to hear what my next prophecy is?” He planted a tender kiss on your forehead, your cheek, your lips. “I prophesize that I will spend the rest of my days ravishing you.”  
“The rest of your days, hm?” you asked coily, lacing your fingers through his hair. He came back up to your mouth, his tongue licking across your lips. You kissed him back, pulling him closer as he situated himself on beside you.   
“Until my last breath, y/n, I will devote myself to every wish and need you could possibly have.” A hand moved down to delicately trace your stomach, his eyes piercing into you, the finality of his declaration writhing within you as Loki breathed out the words, “I love you.”   
You answered him with another kiss, hungrier and more passionate. His fingers snaked up your shirt and lifted it over your face and you did the same to him before sitting up to take him in your arms. His mouth never leaving yours, he removed the rest of your garments.   
Loki’s hand urged you to lie back while his mouth moved down your body, stopping for a moment at your breasts. His tongue flicked across each nipple, slightly biting them until they stood under his influence. You moaned softly while he continued his exploration of you, more kisses between your thighs while his fingers explored every curvature of you had to offer. When he found your clit, his hands snaked around your hips to grab ahold of your ass, squeezing your flesh until you were compelled to grind against his mouth.   
Another moan escaped you at the sensation while his long tongue ran up your folds, encircling your most tender spot. You were beginning to escalate at the sensation, so much so you hadn’t felt him move his hand until he pushed two fingers through your entrance. You exhaled sharply, feeling the steady ‘come here’ motion his digist did inside of you.   
Loki moved at a pleasing rhythm, his fingers pumping in and out, curling in you, his thumb now rubbing against your clit. You rode his hand, crying out, “Loki!” when you felt your sweet release drip down yourself. You were panting when you looked down to see his exceedingly pleased expression while he lapped up your juices from your lower lips.   
“I could do this every second of every day,” Loki told you while he positioned himself over you, the tip of his cock standing readily at your entrance. “Keep you in my bed. Pleasure you. Hear you scream my name while I bring you to your peak over and over again.” You felt the anticipation rise as he pushed in. “But I want you, y/n. Truly, every part of you. Not just in my bed. I want you as mine in every sense of the word. And I’ll be yours.”   
Slowly another couple of inches entered, you felt the build up in your stomach ache for him. You pulled at him, urging him on. He smiled down at you, bringing a hand to your face. “Shhh, I’ll give you what you want, my pet. And more.” He slid the rest of the way in, your back arching at your internal uproar. He pulled back out only to slowly move back in until he filled you. Again and again, the same torturously slow motion in and out. Your legs trembled against his back while you tried to bring him into you. When he held fast, your hips did the work, grinding against him. He choked down a growl, fighting for control. “Oh, y/n…” he breathed raggedly. You slid yourself up and down his length before he finally broke.   
With an animalistic grunt, he folded your legs between your bodies, opening you completely to him. He thrusted into you, hard, sending a shiver up your spine as you grabbed hold of his arms. He kept the deep, fast rhythm, your hips matching his appetite pump for pump. You reached your second climax when Loki’s poured into you.   
He rolled over, taking you up in his arms and bringing you onto his chest. You listened to his fast, but steady heartbeat, felt the rise and fall of his chest. You were so content now. This was it. This was what you had always wanted.   
When the invasion began, everything happened so fast. Too fast. There were screams down the ship corridor, echoing lazar shots, the sound of death. Loki tried to have you stay in the room while he ran out and discovered what was happening but you followed after him. The two of you came face to face with the invaders. All the color was stripped from his face at the realization of who was attacking. Without explanation, he began commanding the Asgardians to get to the escape pods.   
“What is happening?” you insisted when he didn’t answer your first few questions. You grabbed hold of his shirt and made him face you. “Loki, what’s going on? Who are these creatures?”   
He swallowed hard, unwilling to meet your eyes. “They’re the chitauri. They work for Thanos, the one who orchestrated my attack on midgard’s New York.”   
You felt hollow hearing the words. He had proclaimed this man to be stronger than Odin.   
“Get to the ships on the lowest deck!” you ordered to your people as you pushed past him. The two of you came across Valkyrie and Thor as you entered the main station on top of the ship. “Everyone needs to get off the ship!”   
“No,” Thor realized, “They won’t just allow ships to escape. I will stay behind and hold them off.” Heimdall immediately offered to stay behind with him. He turned to his brother, telling him, “Loki and y/n, lead everyone to safety.”   
“I’ll aind in the evacuation and then come back to fight,” Valkyrie offered.   
“I want to stay and fight…”   
Everyone yelled no. “You and brother are to lead the people of Asgard,” Thor explained. “They need you. Both of you.”   
You bit you lip and looked at Valkyrie. Your friend. Your idle. “Come on,” she urged, “We must get everyone onto the ships.”   
You nodded as Loki pulled you with him. The three of you rallied everyone that was still alive to the lowest deck, ushering them onto the pods.   
That’s when you heard the unmistakable sound of utter destruction befall the top floor.   
“Thanos…” Loki whispered. He turned to look back the way you had come. His eyes went to Valkyrie as she ushered in the last Asgardian, readying to say goodbye to you.   
“Valkyrie.” She turned to look at him and you could see a strange expression on her face. Some type of understanding. She looked back at you.   
Loki grabbed hold of your hand and esorted you inside, but didn’t step in. “Y/n….” he spoke, his voice quivering.   
You didn’t understand.  
Valkyrie stepped inside of the ship, standing at your side.   
You looked back at Loki and could see the glisten of tears in his lashes. “Y/n, I have loved you for so long. But I have done it wrong. I have made mistake after mistake and hurt you, hurt my brother, hurt my people.” His eyes went past you to the scared Asgardians awaiting the ship to take off. “I realize now what I must do to right these wrongs.”  
The thought he must be having dawned on you as you felt the breath escape your lungs. “Loki,” you said, as he took your hands in his. “Loki, no…. Let me go with you!” you tried to take a step but Valkyrie held you in place. You looked at her before turning back to him. “No, let me fight at your side!”   
“I cannot let you do that, my darling.” He lifted your hand to your face, leaning into a kiss.   
“Well, I won’t let you go without me!” you screamed, shoving Valkyrie with such force that she let go. Your arms came around him for a final embrace, “I won’t lose you, not like this! I won’t let you leave without me!”   
He smiled at you, so sincere, so heartbroken. His fingers ran up through your hair. “I know you won’t, my beloved, y/n.” His palm laid flat across your forehead as he told you one last time, “I love you.” Everything went black.   
And just as suddenly, light washed over you. You felt the warmth of the sun kissing your skin, could smell the grass in the wind. You were on a sun soaked hilltop overlooking a valley. An illusion of Asgard that Loki had shown you once before of a distant memory from your childhood. Tears streamed down your face when you saw him, his hands folded in front of him.   
“Release me!” you demanded, slamming your fists aginst his chest. “Wake me up, I have to help you!” His hands came up and brought you into an embrace you at first struggled against. You were sobbing against him. “Why won’t the universe let us be together?” you cried. He lifted your face to his, wiping away your tears.   
“The universe is giving me a chance at redemption, y/n. And if I can buy you and the other’s just five more minutes in your escape, it is worth it.”   
“It’s not worth it to me!” You pulled your face away from him, damning him, cursing him. “How can you be so cruel? How could you leave me like this?”   
“I can’t let you die.”  
“I don’t want to live without you!” You turned to see him, but he didn’t have any remorse on his face. Only resolve. “Why can’t you let me have this? A death at your side is more than a life without you.” You shook your head, “This cannot be how our story ends…”   
“You have other reasons to live on, y/n….” He pressed his forehead against yours and brought a hand up to trace your stomach. “I am so sorry. I am so sorry for all of the torment I have caused you. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you as soon as you woke up…” his voice choked but he kept back tears.  
“Told me what?”   
“Y/n…” He looked down into your eyes, and for a moment you forgot you were looking at an illusion of himself. “Y/n, you’re pregnant.” A sharp breath escaped you. You were inconsolable now, collapsing in his arms. “They discovered it when they took you into the infirmary, you’re only a few weeks along..” He kneeled, holding you still, kissing your forehead. “This child, our child, they are the heir to the Asgardian throne.” Tears finally fell down his cheeks as he smiled. “I love you so much, y/n. More than you’ll know. More than I deserve.” His arms held you tighter as you cried, digging his fingers into your hair, taking in this final moment with you. “I’ll always be with you, y/n. In your heart. With this child. You will never be without me...” A tender kiss to your forehead. “I love you both.”   
And then, just as quickly as it had happened, his illusion faded and you were left again in darkness.   
Your eyes fluttered to see Valkyrie. She had pulled your head into her lap and was looking down at you, worried.   
“I saw him…” you whispered. Tears sting your eyes as you choked, “He told me…” You couldn’t get the words out.   
“Congratulations,” she told you. You were able to smile up at her just before she pulled you into a hug. “We will get through this, together.”   
You wiped your face and stood, clearing your throat. Everyone, the last of your people, were staring up at you. You felt the weight of their concerns. Getting up to the control board beside the warrior Korg.   
“Oh hello. So...Where too, ma’am?” he asked.   
You looked out into the vastness, soaked in the hope that you would need to get through this. “We are going to Midgard.”


	7. The Ghost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place during Endgame.

If life had taught you one thing it, was that time was precarious and fickle.   
It was something you never got back, but, most tragically, it was something you couldn't control. Like how a second could seem to last forever, yet a day can be so fleeting. Moments past. People move on. The cruelest part of time is never knowing how much you have, until it’s gone.  
In your lifetime, you felt the aches of your battle scars, both physically and mentally, yet managed to steadily keep going. Time after time, you were able to pull yourself together enough to make it out on the other end, nearly unscathed.   
As hard as it was, as dark as your world seemed in that instant, the death of Loki couldn’t be what stopped you. Not now that you had your unborn child to consider. After escaping Thanos and the heartbreaking sacrifice of Loki, you felt the agony of once again needing to keep going.   
As soon as you and Valkyrie took charge of the evacuated Asgardians, you had Korg set coordinates to Midgard and tried to maintain some form of hope amongst your people. They needed comfort and you had no time to mourn the death of the greatest love you had ever known.  
Loki would have to wait.   
While Korg kept up with the navigation, you and Valkyrie dispersed the few supplies of blankets, food and water that were stored on the escape ship. Many people stood while the wounded, young and elderly sat at their feet, finally resting after what felt like an endless battle for survival.   
First the Dark Elves.   
And then Hela.   
Now Thanos.   
There was no denying how hard it was to see everyone so worn out, but you found it especially hard every time you came across a mother cradling a child, feeling the extra sting of your new lot in life.   
Somehow you kept moving onto the next person, offering words of encouragement and a friendly smile of reassurance.   
This was your reality now, you repeated over and over to yourself, you had to suck it up and move on.  
You had to. They needed you.  
These were the remnants of your people and you would see them through this.   
For the moment, it felt that things couldn't possibly get worse, that there was nothing more that could be done to the once proud race of the Asir. All that anyone could do now was to rebuild with what was left.   
You were a soldier and you had your mission.   
Protect these people.   
Protect your family.   
There was no true way to know how long that newfound drive lasted, but it wasn't until you heard that first, ear piercing scream cut through the ship's cramped space that you knew nothing was ever certain. Things could always get worse and the devastation was far from over.   
Several gasps broke out. More screams.   
Your head swiveled from side to side, but you were standing so close to others who were beginning to panic that you couldn't make out anything in the chaos.   
At your feet a small girl grabbed hold of the hem of your shirt.   
Your eyes met and the vast blueness of her doll-like trance forever engrained itself into your soul. Just as her lips moved to say something, she disintegrated into ash in front of your very eyes.   
Stunned, you couldn't even scream.   
It was too unfathomable.  
To your left another body vanished into dust, leading to more screams. The screaming went on for what felt like a gruesome eternity, as one by one, your people disappeared into a cloud of dust. When the event was over, you were able to see what had taken place by the sheer number of empty spaces between the remaining Asgardians.   
Where once you all stood shoulder to shoulder, now only half remained.   
A cold sweat crept up your back though you still managed to keep from crying out.  
Admittedly, you were terrified to even make a noise, until fear brought your friend’s name to your lips. “Valkyrie!” you hollard. “Hilde, where are you!” That’s when you heard the wondrous sound of her calling your name back. The two of you met up at the front of the ship where Korg, who was uncomfortably staring out into space, mumbling in another language.   
What could have caused such devastation to your already crippled people?   
It wasn't for another week, when you landed on Midgard, that you understood the true cataclysmic episode that had befallen, not just the Asgardians, but all of the galaxy.  
Thanos had collected the infinity stones and wiped out half the universe.   
It was a surreal time, collecting your people to explain what had happened to their family and friends, aided only by Valkyrie while Thor ached over his seemingly wasted effort.   
Despite their own horrific happenings, the Midgardians welcomed the broken down Asgardians to their world, even offering up an abandoned fishermen's town on the edge of an island for your people to claim as their own.   
You dubbed it New Asgard and got to work.   
It didn't take long for everyone to band together and make their new village thrive. You had never felt so proud of your fellow Asgardians as you were when you witnessed the togetherness they exhibited in order to regain some normal function to their lives. With a few technological advances from other collective worlds, the people were soon feeling a newfound sense of home.   
For the most part, the time following the snap was quiet. You and Valkyrie worked amongst the people to help your new home thrive while Thor resided to keep himself barricaded in his hut on the farthest corner of the village, rarely coming out to do more than pick up a supply of beer.   
But anyone could hardly blame him.   
You and Valkyrie had both used alcohol to bury the worst of your pain in the past, so to see Thor's dive into the dark abyss of its distracting nature was less than surprising. You both knew he needed to heal in his own way, and left him and Korg to hide away from the work that had to be done.   
In truth, you believed everyone's past held wounds needed to become the person they were meant to be. Even if there were times you were so low you couldn't see a way up, you had kept going and, in turn, you hoped the same revelation would come to Thor. Through all this pain, something good had to come.   
Even the loss of Loki had yielded you a gift you would never have without his sacrifice: a beautiful, raven haired, green eyed prince. Frig, named for the late Queen Frigga, was your driving force. His birth warranted you a strength you never knew you had, giving you all the power you needed to work towards rebuilding what you lost.  
Yes, the new existence that you had all made in Midgard was beginning to fall into place, and by the time Frig was a year old, you felt able to fully over the death of Loki.  
With you and Valkyrie taking on the roles of Chieftain in New Asgard, this all simply became the way of life and, most of the time, that was enough. You busied yourself with handling the towns dealings while trying to be a good mother to Frig.   
It wasn't until five years after the snap that everything change. Thor, still not sober, joined with what remained of the Avengers to try and bring back those lost in the snap with a half brained scheme involving time travel. You didn't understand the particulars, but on the day the missing Asgardians suddenly began appearing before your own eyes, you knew they were successful.   
It was another few hours when a message came through that Thanos, whom you knew had been killed in your own time by Thor himself, had returned from the past. The Asgardians needed to arm themselves for one final showdown with the mad titan.   
Nothing could have prepared you for what would ensue through the mass, frantic chaos that was the final battle of the infinity war. When Dr. Strange’s portals began to open before your soldiers, you donned Loki's battle horns and two broadswords. Valkyrie road through first on her pegasas while you rushed behind her, bringing with you any abled bodied Asgardian you could to fight this threat to your universe.   
You weren't just Asgardians defending your midgardian allies as you had done in the past.   
You were all Avengers this day, and this was your home, too.   
Your people were here.   
Frig was here.  
You would all make this one, final stand together against the tyrant Thanos or die trying.   
No matter what, you knew it would end here.  
The fighting was nearly even in the beginning, the mass numbers of Chitari clashing with the fewer, yet better skilled and more determined Avengers. The roars of those amongst the bloodshed were enough to spur you on, making you wave your blades with more and more gusto, feeling a wave of release wash off you.   
Yet as the fighting went on, you noticed out towards the center of it all stood a massive figure beside a massive, double bladed sword. He was unscathed by the madness around him, simply watching the destruction unfold with a smirk on his face.   
“Thanos! ” you called out, starting your way through the Chitauri. He turned at the sound of his name, locking eyes with you.   
All these years, it had been Thanos's own cruel agenda that had cost you so much. Loki was gone, half your people were gone, all by his doing.   
Though you knew you were no match for the Goliath, you were determined to have his blood on your blade.   
You broke off into a short run, ramping up an unsuspecting fighter's back before leaping into the air towards the man who took Loki from you.   
You came down hard, bringing both of your broad swords against his hastily raised arm.   
"More Asgardian filth, I see!" you heard Thanos snicker as he shrugged off your brutish attack for no more than an annoyance. "Your thunder god already tried his hand, are you here to see how you'll match up?" He threw you off, but you caught yourself enough to come back with a vengeance, swinging without mercy.   
"You killed him!" Your screech echoed amongst the clashing of swords and bodies, filling you with more rage when you snapped, "You took Loki from me, and I'll see you die today on this battlefield, if not by my hand, then someone else's!"   
"I wasn't afforded the pleasure of killing your little mischief maker," Thanos shot back, blocking one blow after another. "But I must say, I’m glad it was me who shut that wretch up for good!”  
At that your blood boiled and you let loose a battle cry, bringing down your blades in such savage synchrony that he didn't get a moment hesitation from you. You lashed out, screaming with every swing.   
"You think you can stop me!" he roared, blocking your attacks, "No one can prevent this, I am your world’s future end!"   
At that you swung harder, connecting again and again with this armored forearms. Despite being so much smaller, so much weaker, you managed to put up enough of a fight that Thanos started to get pushed back.  
That's when you saw the small window of opportunity and jabbed.   
It was small, probably no more than a papercut to the brute, but when the trickle of blood dripped down the giants face, you felt a small victory.   
At the shock of your blade coming across his cheek, missing his eye by mere centimeters, Thanos shoved you back with all his force. Yet you still remained standing.   
You pointed your sword, smiling at him. "Now let's make the other side match."  
His silver eyes went up to yours, his face twisted in anger at your impotence. "Oh, I'm going to enjoy ripping you apart!"   
Flying into a fit of his own, Thanos came charging.   
Fast.   
Realizing an all out assault from him would be it for you, you braced yourself, ready for the punishment of antagonizing the mad titan.   
Perhaps you could leap over his head? Roll between his knees?   
You got ready to move, crouching with both swords at the ready.   
That's when the magnificent Carol Danvers came blasting through the crowds like a rocket and bulleted through him away, sweeping the giant nearly 1000 yards from where you stood.   
Gasping in surprise, you sighed with relief at the sight of Valkyrie on her winged beast. She held out an arm for you, saying, "Let's give them hell." The blades in each hand were beginning to feel heavy, but you rolled your shoulders and cracked your neck. Latching one sword to your hip, you gave a court nod and took her hand. You hopped on the back of the stead, and rode away with her to battle.   
The mayhem felt to last for an eternity before the man of iron was able to end it all in a single moment that made the world go silent.   
In the silence, Midgard and the universe was finally at peace.   
*****  
It had been a year since that day and life, for the most part, was as it should be.   
Loki's helmet and your blood stained broadswords sat as a daily reminder on the mantle in your home of just how much had been given in order to live out this peaceful life you and Frig enjoyed with the rest of your people.   
Everyone felt this newfound hope flow through them at the return of their loved ones from the snap. Homes buzzed with laughter and togetherness in the way they had back in Asgard. Even Thor, after years of hiding from the world, felt a new spirit of life awaken his need for adventure. After leaving you and Valkyrie in charge of New Asgard, he left to travel with the Guardians.   
Yes, the world had finally found its long sought after peace.   
It was a Monday like any other, which meant the normal routine of checking on the people of your village. The first part of your day involved the fishermen along the decks, ensuring the lines laid out over the weekend were pulled in so that the fish could make it to market by sunup. Walking through the streets of New Asgard, you made certain that the delivery trucks from the midgardian town across the island had arrived on schedule with all of the weekly orders. Coming back through the streets, passerbys bid you good morning and offered you kind words for your day. The baker, whom did this every morning, insisted you take a strawberry Danish with you because, "We need you to keep up your strength." You took it with a smile and thanked him as you headed back down towards your house.   
Just before you opened it, your door flew open and out ran Frig, donning a thick black jacket with jeans. You passed him a loving smile before crouching down to take him up in your arms.   
At five years old, your black haired, green eyed prince was enough to send you soaring. He laughed at your hug before asking if you had anything from town for him.   
"Now Frig, what could I possibly have for you?" you told him in a mock serious tone. "You know I was out working this morning, not shopping for you."  
He offered you an exaggerated sigh, shrugging, "I just was really hoping for something from the bakery…"   
You laughed, pulling the still warm Danish from your satchel and handing it to him. "I suppose I'll share, just this one time."  
He thanked you just before shoving half of it into his mouth, while your eyes caught sight of something gold around his neck.   
"Are you wearing my necklace?" you asked, not harshly but pointedly.   
He gulped his bite of food before grabbing the pendant. "I just wanted it for today, mother," he went on so innocently, "I promise not to let anything happen to it. I'll protect it."  
Valkyrie had just come out from your house, securing the door behind her as she brought a small sack with her. "Now how will you rightly learn if you don't remember to take your books to class?" she played, dangling the bag in front of his face.   
She saw the two of you were exchanging a serious look before she realized what it was.   
"Oh let him wear it, mum. What's he going to do, throw it in the ocean?"   
You cut your eyes at her before giving up. "Fine, but I want it back when you get home."  
It's not because it was an expensive piece of jewelry, but it was sentimental. Thor had it made for you just before you gave birth to Frig, a simple golden pendant engraved "The sun will rise on us again", an homage to the last words Loki ever spoke.   
Frig had eyeballed it for a long time but this was the first time he actually wore it. "I'll take great care of it," he swore to you with a glisten in his eye just before he kissed your cheek. He started off down the sidewalk on his way to school. You followed a few steps behind him, admiring him as Valkyrie took to your side. "Clever one, that boy. Do you know he asked me if he should cry when he asked to wear it?"   
You couldn't suppress the snide laugh. "He is his father's son."  
The two of you went over the matters of the day, going through the in and outs of who was to make the daily run of new lines, who was to help mend a neighbor's fence, who could help with the parcel deliveries, and other medial dealings.   
It wasn't until you had reached the center of town that you felt something strange in the air.   
Something was happening.   
You and Brunhilde locked eyes.   
"What's wrong?" Frig turned to ask when he realized you both lost pace. "Is everything alright, mother?"   
Your breath steadied, your senses went on edge. Cutting your eyes around, you and Valkyrie stood at the ready for something to happen.  
It was right then that a whirlwind collected in the street at your side, blowing so much that a passing truck slammed their brakes to avoid coming too close. A bright light sparked for an instant as Valkyrie grabbed Frig up. You stood in between them and whatever was about to happen in your quiet town square.   
The light faded, leaving nothing more than the silhouette of a man standing in the middle of the road.   
Valkyrie was speaking to you, but you couldn't hear her. People from inside the small storefronts along the main road began filing out to see what was causing the commotion, but you didn't notice any of it.   
All you could do was stare at the man as the air left your lungs.   
There, in the middle of the village square, adorn with his usual black and green leather garb, stood a very alive Loki.   
A muzzle stifled his curses as he tossed a glowing box to the side, ready to be rid of the damned thing. His hands came up to his mouth and you could make out a large set of cuffs binding his wrists together. In one swift jerk, he removed the constraint from his lips, gasping, looking around himself like a wild animal that was suddenly free in a strange new world.   
That's when Loki's eyes found yours and he froze in place.   
He had appeared so suddenly that you didn't have time to process what it was you were seeing. Your mouth fell open, trying desperately to find words as you stepped closer. Reaching out to touch him in reflex, because seeing him wasn't enough.   
You had to feel him.   
You had to know he was real.   
Loki straightened when you got closer, but never flinched while your fingers slid along the leather of his armor. Your eyes scanned over the intricate, detailed threading before finally your whole hand was laying flat on his chest. His steady heartbeat was enough to confirm it.   
“Loki…” you breathed out, utterly stunned. You looked up to meet his eyes.   
“Y/n?” Loki asked, his brow creased while his narrowed eyes burrowed into yours.   
That's when you saw it. A soft, blue glow behind his once emerald orbs. It was something you had only seen once, back when he tried to take New York all those years ago. You didn't have time to react when he took your hand from his chest. “How can this be, you… You look so different."   
Perhaps it was your long hair that was allowed to fall down your shoulders where it used to always be tied back. Perhaps it was the midgardian leather jacket and jeans you wore rather than double plated armor. Or perhaps it was all the years of pain etched into your face at everything you had endured in this life.   
Loki looked past you, scanning the curious faces of the Asgardians before stepping back to leave your hand hanging empty in the air. “What's going on?”  
Still staring at the blue of his eyes, you pressed slowly, “You said you just saw me? Where?” Your excitement gave way to a devastating realization of who truly stood in front of you  
It was then that the god of mischief flashed his signature devilish grin, letting loose a deep throated laugh. In a low tone, where no one else could hear, he explained, “Last we spoke, my darling, you were tied to my bed, awaiting your king like a good little pet.”  
Your heart dropped so hard you thought it would fall from your chest. Closing your eyes, unable to stomach what was transpiring, you called out, "Brunhilde."  
Valkyrie came to your side, though she was watching Loki with a dumbfoundedness that showed she didn't quite understand what was going on.   
"Detain and escort our guest to the cell beneath the tavern. Be sure he cannot escape and leave two guards at the post to be relieved every eighth hour. Once he is inside the cell, no one is to go in or out. The door is to remained locked until I give further instruction."  
"Now that's hardly necessary," Loki started, throwing his cuffed hands up. "I'm practically already detained, why would I be a threat-"   
"Not another word from you or I'll slap another mouth piece on you." When Valkyrie didn't immediately step towards him, you turned to face her. "Hilde!"  
"Yes, ma'am, whatever you say," she finally answered, shooting you an even more confused look before stepping towards Loki.   
His brow furrowed as he straightened his back and squared his shoulders, towering over the petite warrior. "I don't know who you think you are, but I would advise you proceed with caution."  
"Did you just?" Valkyrie's head tilted to the side, insulted beyond anything else, as she tried to decipher if he was truly foolish enough to threaten her.  
"Loki, you are severely outmatched in this fight, not to mention you're already in chains," you warned coldly, barely willing to meet his blue, hazy gaze. "You're clearly still under whatever influence Thanos has over you, and it will take time for you to regain control. You're a danger to yourself and everyone else here, so until it can be determined that you are not a threat, you will be treated as one."  
Loki's eyes widened while his mouth thinned out. "How do you know about Thanos?"  
You took in a deep breath, feeling a pain in your chest as you admitted, "Because, years ago, you saved us from him." Loki's eyes widened, but before he could speak you explained, "You're in the future, Loki. I don't know the particulars, but the last time you say you saw me? That happened over a decade ago."  
Though the god appeared to have something more to say, he kept quiet. He digested the information you had given him just as a set of casually dressed guards came around him. Loki looked out at the Asgardians one more time, seeing some faces of fear, some of reverence, but mostly he saw an unsure reaction of how to receive him. At that, he quickly spoke, "You said this is the future? If that’s true, then where is your timline's Loki? Shouldn’t an alternate version of myself be here, where is he, I’m sure he would have something to say about-"   
The pain in your chest sharpened, but rather than leave you to answer, Valkyrie cut him off by slapping the mouth guard back over his lips, ignoring his curses. "Solitary now. Questions later," and on that note she led them away.  
You didn't watch them go, instead lowering your head at the soft murmurs of your people behind you. Perhaps questioning your judgment. Slowly, they began to spread back out to their normal routines, some in pairs discussing the event.   
As they went back to their lives, you stood in that same spot, staring down where Loki last stood. In truth, you didn't know what to think, still blindsided by what just transpired.   
That is, until a familiar face appeared at your side.   
"Mother?"  
"Frig?" you gasped, "Y… You should be at school, let, let's get you to class."   
"Mother, did you say that man's name was Loki?"   
Your blood turned to ice in your veins, immediately knowing what he would ask next. "I did, but, sweetie, he isn't…"  
"Don't you have lessons to be learning?" you heard Valkyrie cut in from behind. Your head whipped around, grateful for the interruption.   
"He certainly does. Off you go, catch up with Aunt Sif. We, We, We can talk later…" The words tasted sour as they left your mouth.   
Frig's lips folded inward the way they always did when he was pouting, but rather than argue he let out a short huff. "Yes, mother." You bent down to kiss his cheek before pressing your forehead to his.   
"You're destined for greatness, son," you encouraged. He offered a small smile and then ran off to join the other children that had began to form small groups as they headed down the lane towards the schoolhouse.   
You and Valkyrie watched him leave in silence until she finally asked, "What the hell was all of that?"  
“I… don't know," you answered honestly.  
"Do you think this has something to do with the time traveling Thor did? Maybe that idiot messed something up?"   
You face crinkled at the memory of Thor's outlandish explanation of how he and the other Avengers gathered the stones through a quantum time warp. "He was still drinking pretty hard then… "  
“You need to speak to Hulk," Valkyrie reasoned with a nod in self agreement." You need to tell him about this and… "   
Both of you turned to see the blue cube that had been tossed carelessly to the side.   
"Yes, we need to do something about that.” Sighing deeply, you bent over and plucked it from the ground.   
"Hey, careful with that thing, you don’t know what it is!”  
Turning it from side to side, you squinted while trying to make out the figure in your memory. Yet nothing came to the surface.   
"I'll go call Banner and show him this. Maybe he can make heads or tails out of what's happening."  
Just before you started to leave, Valkyrie grabbed hold of your arm.   
“Wait, you’re just going to leave Loki locked away without going to talk to him first? Don’t you think he deserves some sort of explanation?”  
You brought your face close to Valkyrie’s making sure to whisper when you pointed out, “Didn’t you see the look on the people’s faces, Hilde? They’re terrified of him, and frankly so am I.” Pulling your arm free, you shook your head. “I know what you must be thinking, but this... this isn’t my Loki. This isn't who came to our rescue in Asgard, nor is it the same man that sacrificed himself for his people. This is some convoluted version of him after he fell from the rainbow bridge into the abyss, consumed by self loathing and Thano’s mind poison. Right now, he is still in the mindset that he is to be crowned king and that we should all be bowing to him.” You shook your head, finishing, “No, I’m not going going to waste a breath on him, not yet.”   
“Then when?”  
You hesitated, unsure what you really wanted to do with him once the mind stone’s control wore off, if it ever truly would. It was all merely a theory, after all, that being away from Thanos and the mind stone would cleanse him of the dark thoughts clouding his soul.   
Unfortunately, there were also other factors. After all, not every terrible decision Loki made was Thanos's doing. When he faked his death to rule Asgard disguised as Odin, he certainly wasn’t under Thano’s control.   
Who’s to say he wouldn’t try to pull something similar?   
Who’s to say he doesn't still want to be king?  
You had to calm down, making yourself reason, “Loki’s eyes have a blue hue to them when they’re under the mind stone’s effect. If his eyes turn back to green, I’ll see if there’s some part of him that is salvageable. Until then, keep surveillance. No one talks with him, just watches for eye color. He’s manipulative,” you warned, “we don’t need anyone falling for his silver tongue.”   
“And what about Frig?”   
The thump of your heart made the topic too much to dwell on. “Frig’s father died saving the Asgardians,” you answered dryly. “That hasn’t changed just because of a shift in the time space continuum. For all we know, this past form isn’t long for this world and I do not intend to muddy my son’s mind over the fanciful idea that his father has come home. For now, we watch his eyes. If-” you annunciated, “he can show the corruption has passed, Thor will decide what to do with him.”   
“So you mean to tell me you’re not going to tell Loki he has a son-”   
“This isn’t up for debate,” you finalized. “Now, if you’ll excuse me.” Rather than hear another word about the matter, you left to busy yourself with a very important phone call.   
*****  
Valkyrie barely had time to think when she led the guards escorting Loki to the cellar beneath the tavern before she returned to check in you. Now that she had a minute to think it over, she realized this wasn't the ideal jailhouse for a god. It had been barely pieced together with uneven rod iron bars and leftover two by fours. It normally held overly rowdy drunks until they sobered up enough to be allowed to go home.   
It wasn’t built to contain a god, but it was the only thing you could offer.   
As she swung open the door to the cellar, Valkyrie called out an order to the guards, "Okay, you two go. Stand outside the doors. I'll call for you when I'm done."  
The overly bearded men shared a look before raising a brow. "Y/n asked us not to leave him."  
The other added, "Also mentioned not to talk to him."  
"So you're telling me-" she closed the distance between her and the soldiers, making them both notably unnerved, "You're going to stop me from talking to him?"   
"HE does have a name!" Loki roared over the room. "And he is standing. Right. Here."   
She cut her brown eyes to him, shoving herself through the men with ease.   
"Yes, you do. Its Loki. And I've met you, but you haven't met me yet."  
The men shared another look before quietly escaping.   
Whatever Valkyrie was about to do, they didn't want to bare witness.   
Loki's eyes narrowed and his clocked his chin towards her. "Judging by your tone, we must not get along in this time."  
"You're certainly not my favorite person, I'll admit. But. I'm here as an ally."   
"Ally?" Loki wondered.   
Valkyrie went closer to the steel bars of his cell, turning her head as she tried to examine the color of his eyes.   
"Mind bottling…"   
Loki snickered, "I beg your pardon?"   
"Oh, it's a midgardian phrase. Means your thoughts are trapped in a bottle. Anyway," Valkyrie turned her back to him, waving over her shoulder, "Alright I'll see you tomorrow. Don't be a pain in the arse and we may even feed you."  
"Wait!" he demanded. "I demand answers! I'm the prince of Asgard, I deserve to know what's going on! Why are the Asgardians here? Where is my brother?" He Inhaled sharply before finishing, "And why did y/n react the way she did when she saw me?"   
Valkyrie’s back remained to him, but she did give pause before opening the door. "I don't know all the details of your life, so you'll have to wait for y/n to come talk to you."  
And on that she left, telling the guards to return to their post while she went to set up for the next set of officers that would relieve them.   
She still didn't fully understand what was going on, but she hoped it wouldn't prove to be a complication.   
*****  
"You mean to tell me you idiots let Loki escape with the Space Stone!" you roared at the hologram of the Hulked out Bruce Banner.   
Despite being a quaint little cottage, you had managed to instill some high tech services inside your home, the most useful being a telecommunicator that allowed you to speak to whomever you needed, whenever you needed.   
As large and ferocious as Hulk was, Banner was certainly the opposite. Even as fearsome as he appeared, his hands kept moving nervously as he tried to explain, "I mean, it was simply a miscalculation, when you're dealing with things as fragile as quantum mechanics, you're so involved in the science portion that-that-that the actual planning gets, well, frankly, side stepped," he spoke quickly without taking a breath, "I mean, yeah, now in hindsight, Loki should have been an accounted variable in the equation, given his history with, well, I won't go into that, but even Stark missed that, and if he missed it, I mean, it really was just a fluke, Actually Scott Lang, I mean Antman, yeah, let me give you his number, he was there, I'm pretty sure it was his fault, something about he couldn't break Tony's heart, here's his info-"  
“But not a single one of you thought it was possibly impertinent information to me that Loki was out traveling through space and time?” you snapped at him. “All I'm saying is a little forewarning would have been nice. Dammit, I have a five year old little boy I have to explain this all to, Bruce!”   
Banner went quiet, realizing the dept of his poor decision to keep the mishap a secret. “You’re right,” he told you, “You’re right. I’m sorry, y/n, you did have a right to know, someone should have called.”   
You rubbed a hand over your face, trying to work through the webs to figure out what to do. “Well, what do you know about alternate realities? Since he’s appeared here, did anything spark something up?”   
“If you mean the quantum molecular hypertonic analyzer, no, nothing ‘sparked up’.” In the years following the team’s travel through time, there were several alternate realities popping up. To keep up with them, Bruce, Pym, and Shuri were able to create an instrument capable of marking down significant time points and follow the changes in their time waves.   
It was mostly used to make sure that your own realities didn’t fall apart at the seams from the destruction of the infinity stones, but if that were the case no one was broadcasting it.   
Worried by your silence, the Hulk’s hand rubbed under his glasses. “It really is a mess, y/n. But frankly, I’m pretty sure Loki is here to stay. Our equipment for travel has been shut down so another time’s Thanos doesn’t decide to come wipe us out, you can have the space stone under lock and key, we’re the only ones who know it’s there. I would say this is a win.”  
“A win?” you shot back.   
“I mean, you are getting another chance with Loki, right? You, him, Frig, one big happy family.” His brow creased in confusion, “Aren’t you happy?”   
“I…” you weren’t sure what you felt, but at the moment it was most certainly not happy.   
“Look,” he told you, leaning closer to the telecom so his holographic eyes were lined up with yours. “Speaking as someone who was too wrapped up in his own head to be with the person he loved while she was still here, I would take this as a win. You have Loki back. You have something a lot of us don’t get.”  
“And what’s that?”   
“A chance for the universe to correct a terrible wrong it’s brought onto you.”   
You were silent at his words, your eyes glancing towards the mantle where Loki’s helmet laid next to your swords.   
“I’m so scared once I accept he’s really back, something will happen,” you admitted before looking back at the green figure. “Like this can’t be real, that somehow, someway, he’s either going to be taken away or leave.”   
“Then isn’t that reason enough to enjoy it while it lasts?”  
The two of you were quiet a moment longer before he added, “You can have your family together, y/n. I know after everything that’s happened, it doesn’t seem possible. But don’t waste it fearing it’ll end. Everything ends. It’s just how you get there that matters.”   
Thanking him for his time, you hung up, having heard all you could stand.   
Sitting at your dining room table with your head leaning against your hand, you looked back at the helmet.   
“How do you keep doing this to me?” you asked it, a lump forming in your throat. “I’ve mourned you so many times, Loki. I’m so afraid…” tears bubbled in the corner of your eyes, “I’m so afraid I won’t have the strength to get over it again.” The horns sat there, unknowingly breaking your heart. Pinching the bridge of your nose, you let out a sharp breath.  
While you were glad Banner didn't seem too concerned with the misplaced, time-hoping Loki, it didn't tell you what to do with the situation. As for the space stone, you had both agreed to let it remain in New Asgard. The last thing anyone needed right now was news of an infinity stone on Midgard.   
You walked up to the mantle and placed your hand on a particular wooden panel to the side. A light scanned over your fingerprints, granting you access to a secret compartment in the wooden mantle. Gingerly, you placed the cube inside and closed it.   
It wasn't particular secure, but there was no reason to think anyone was looking for it. After all, it wasn't supposed to even exist in your time.


	8. The Lost

The plan to ignore the problem and hope it went away on its own was due to run out at some point. In the three days since Loki had spontaneously appeared before your eyes, you had managed to so completely overwhelm yourself with daily tasks that you almost forgot he was there.   
Almost.   
You kept close contact with the guards and Valkyrie, ensuring he was properly watched over. One guard reported that he continually requested an audience with you, insisting that if you would just listen to what he had to say you would let him out of confinement. Another reported that he had a hard time ignoring as the prince began to ask where his family was, his mother in particular. No one so much as looked at him, merely repeating the orders given to them that they were not to speak to the prisoner.   
It wasn't until that fourth morning that you were forced to deal with the situation personally.   
"Aunt Hilde," Frig practically sang as Valkyrie came through your cabin's front door. He ran into her arms, planting a hard kiss on her cheek.   
"Hello, little warrior of knowledge. Are you ready for today's lessons?"   
"He will be once he has something to eat," you clarified as you tried to let loose a long yawn, readying a bowl of mixed fruit. "Why on Midgard are you up so early?"   
As she let Frig loose from their embrace, she offered you a somewhat unsettling smile. "His eyes are green. "  
"What?"   
"Who's eyes?" Frig asked.   
"No one!"   
"Mr. Loki."  
"Oh," Frig realizes, "The man who is and is not my father."  
"FRIG-"  
"Yes, my, aren't you a clever boy?" Valkyrie exclaimed, reaching her arms around his shoulders to give him a quick squeeze. "Now why don't you go take your fruit to your room so Mommy and Auntie Hilde can have some grown-up talk."  
"If it is all the same, I would like to take my food to go," he said as he took hold of his bowl and moved towards the door, "I think it's about to become loud here."  
When you finally heard the click of the knob, you exploded. "Mr. Loki? Brunhilde, he is a child and this is above his head!"   
"If you don't think that brilliant boy hasn't already figured out what was happening, then you are more dimwitted than Thor."  
Both your eyes were locked onto each other while you tried to think of something more to argue. You knew the villagers were curious, and they were all well aware that Loki was Frig's father. They also were aware that this wasn't the same Loki that sacrificed himself on Asgard all those years ago. Many of the villagers still remembered hearing of Loki's rampage against Midgard, even learned of his hand in helping Thanos. While some were sympathetic to his strives and believed he was a good man, but many still harbored ill feelings towards the wayward prince.   
If you were being completely honest with yourself, you were the latter. You knew first hand the lengths Loki was willing to go, the lies that he would concoct, all just to meet whatever end goal he strove for at that particular moment.   
And the Loki that was locked away in solitary was none other than the one that wanted to be king.   
Despite all the stirring the new Loki caused amongst the Asgardians, you had truly hoped somehow Frig would avoid any talk on the matter.   
But the truth always seemed to come out somehow.   
It was Valkyrie who broke the silence. "I know this has to be hard for you. I get it," she put a comforting hand on your shoulder, giving it a slight squeeze. "But you can't keep avoiding it. Sooner or later you're going to have to face him."  
"Why can't Thor deal with this?" you spat out, shrugging out of her grip. "I have too many things to handle today, things he made me take responsibility for while he ran around with his hero friends. He's the prince, he should make the decision on his brother. I wish to have no part in it."  
"Thor won't answer our calls and there's no one else! This is your call and you know it," Valkyrie quipped, "Go visit him, speak with him, decide for yourself if you think he is trustworthy. You're the only person the village will listen to and you know it."  
Which was a fact. The people of Asgard had known you as Major Sergeant of the royal guard for the better half of your life. Even in the years since you had been charged with treason, Odin trusted you enough to allow you to retain your title in self exile after Loki's second supposed death.   
Brunhilde's brow crunched together as she pressed further, "You loved this man at some point, y/n. I have seen you mourn his death. I'm aware I don't know the all the specifics but I do know that for whatever reason, the universe has seen fit to give you a possible chance at rekindling that. Isn't that worth merit in itself?"  
Though you wanted desperately to make a pointed argument, you said nothing more in retaliation. Instead, you conceded." Fine. I'll visit him and decide what to do. But," you warned, "If I deem him a threat, you won't question my choice. Once I decide, that's it."  
Valkyrie's eyes rolled at that, but she agreed. "Ay. I'll stand behind you. Now," she pointed towards your bedroom, "Go get yourself ready."  
Scoffing, you brushed past her, bumping shoulders. "I only need to change clothes, I won't be long."  
In no hurry at all, you shrugged on your jeans and coat before catching a glimpse of yourself in the bathroom mirror. At the sight of your hair, you opted for a rather messy braid before walking out the door.   
“You look real nice for your date,” Valkyrie teased, but you didn’t pay her any mind.   
In the past few days, you dwelled on this moment. You knew you’d have to face him, knew at some point this would happen. But in all your dealings with Loki, you learned one thing about him.   
You could never truly be prepared to face him. Whether it was when you tried to stop him in New York, his escape from Asgard, his landing on Sakaar, Loki always managed to somehow have the upperhand.   
Taking a deep breath, you walked alongside Valkyrie to the tavern, though rather go through the front doors, you both went off to the side to a secluded set of stairs. Following them down, you were greeted by the set of guards being relieved from the night shift.   
“Did you hear?” one guard asked.  
You gave a court nod, answering, “Wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t, Christof.” Breezing past them, you were reaching for the door when you heard a follow up.   
“What will you do now that he’s not under Thanos’s control?”   
Grateful you weren’t facing anyone, you choked on the right words, finally answering, “Unless you are ordered to, you do not have to come to anymore shifts.” The men shared a look with Valkyrie as you went inside. “I’ll be out in a minute,” you told her.   
Not expecting that, she turned on her heels to share another look with the guards but they were already gone. “Alright, some Hilde time then.”  
As soon as you entered the cellar your eyes fell on him, nearly knocking the breath out of your lungs. Loki, in all his boredom, was lying stretched out on his cot, throwing a ball up into the air and catching it. The scene was all too familiar, playing back to you like some twisted dream you couldn’t wake up from.   
This isn’t your Loki, you reminded yourself. Stay focused.   
When the door closed behind you, he looked up. “Oh, darling, it’s about time,” he exclaimed, slowly getting up to his feet. His eyes stayed on yours while he saltered towards the door of his makeshift cell. “Tell me you’re here because you’ve finally come to your senses?”   
“Actually, I’m here here to see if you’ve come to yours.” Steadying yourself outside of his cell, you elaborated, “Hilde tells me you’re no longer under the mind stone’s influence, so I’m just here to evaluate that for myself.”   
“By all means,” he cooed in a sultry voice, holding up both his arms so you could get a good view, “Evaluate to your heart’s content. I have all the time in the world.”   
You locked eyes with him one last minute, debating if this was the right call. Residing with it, you went over to the wall and removed the skeleton key to his cage.   
At the sound of the latch undoing, you looked back towards the door, hoping Valkyrie was standing at attention.   
She wasn’t, for she had gone up to the tavern to quench a thirst.   
Loki watched curiously as you stepped inside the cell, closing it behind you with the key still in your hand. “A tad dangerous, don’t you think?” he noticed, taking a short step closer to you with a quirked brow. “I mean, what if I’m not in my right mind? ”  
“I’ve known you a long time,” you answered, “And not once have you ever been in your right mind.”   
At that his eyes narrowed, but rather than comment, he questioned, “Now what?”   
“Look up,” you instructed, which he did. “Now to the left.” Again he did as you asked. “Now right.”  
“Would you like a wink while I’m at it,” he smarted off with a half cocked grin, “You used to love it when I winked at you. Remember when you first started the royal guard and we would pass in the halls of the palace-”  
“Stop,” was all you managed as you started to circle him, your eyes combing over every part of him like you expected to see something out of place. But as you rounded him a second time, there was nothing more to see. “How do you feel?”   
“How do I feel?” he repeated. “A tad perturbed, if I’m being honest. Exactly when are you going to tell me what’s going on here?” His agitation was apparent when his smile dissipated and he took a step towards you. “I have been more than patient, y/n, but I think it’s about time someone answered my questions. Where are mother and father? Where’s Thor? Why are the Asgardians on Midgard? And…” His eyes scanned you up and down, “What have I done to make you look at me like this?”   
The comment caught you off guard, but you managed, “Fine. I’ll tell you what happened.” For the next hour, you and Loki sat in his cell while you went over the gruesome happenings of the last decade. You started with his return from the battle of New York, how his father had locked him away. You explained the death of his mother, the attack of the Dark Elves how he then faked his death to control the kingdom. The death of his father, the rise of his sister, the destruction of Asgard. You told him how he had sacrificed himself to Thanos so that you could lead the surviving Asgardians to Midgard, even about the snap wiping out even more of your people, about how the Midgardians were gracious enough to take you all in despite their hardships. The great time battle. Thanos’s second death. Thor leaving with the Guardians.   
Almost everything.  
There were several, more intimate items you decided to keep to yourself, including the bed you shard on Sakaar and the short time you had with Loki before his death, particularly the child you had.   
“I see,” he said after taking it all in with barely a question, “So I wasn’t meant to get the Space Stone…" You couldn't imagine what must have been running through Loki's mind, but you were a bit surprised when he asked, "What does your Bruce Banner say about me taking the stone?”   
Shrugging, all you could offer was, “Banner instructed me to keep the Space Stone safe, here in New Asgard.” Your eyes locked with him, noting the very pointed raise his eyebrow made at that knowledge. “But as for you, you can’t stay here.”   
Loki appeared disparaged. “After keeping me prisoner all this time, you’re just going to boot me out, like some common leech? I thought you said your time's Loki is gone? Why wouldn't I stay here with yo-"  
“You don’t want to live here,” you cut him off. “I already called your brother, he’s going to come get you at a moment’s notice.”   
That last part was a lie, Thor hadn’t answered a single one of your eight hundred and seventy telecom calls.   
“But what if I wanted to stay?” Loki wondered quietly.   
The scoff you let out was laughable, but so was the idea of him wanting to stay on Midgard. “I mean, do you want to live here? In a fishing town? On Midgard?”   
“I might,” he offered, closing the distance between you with a sly smile curling on his lips, “For the right reason.” Loki’s hand unexpectedly came up to trace your cheek, his voice lowering when he asked, “You’re the acting queen aren’t you? Surely you could use a close adviser. Someone you trust to he'll make decisions. After all, what's all of this if not a stepping stone towards rebuilding the kingdom of Asgard? ” His fingertips traced down your arms, sending a shiver down your spine.   
At that, you narrowed your eyes. “I’m not queen,” you corrected, stepping back only to realize there were less than three inches between you and the bars of the cell. “I’m simply keeping everything together until the rightful heir takes over. Until then, Brunhilde and I keep the peace.”   
“Well, wait no longer, darling,” he announced with his hands out to you, “For your heir has arrived!”  
“No, Loki, This isn’t your time, you’re not the heir to this throne. He was already named and once he comes of age, he will lead the people wherever they are destined to go. Not you. Not me.”   
At that Loki sucked on his teeth, mulling over your words. “So who is it then,” he spat out, “A bastard of Thor’s, I assume? Some brat of a whore he planted a seed in, just to run off to the stars!”   
Your hand met with the side of his face so abruptly neither of you expected it.   
There was no way for Loki to know it was his own son he was speaking so ill of, but that didn’t make your rage any less fearsome. Stepping forward, you poked a finger into his chest, hard, and retorted, “Who it is is none of your concern, Loki Odinson, as you abdicated the throne the minute you betrayed Asgard, more than once I'll add. When you attacked your brother and sent the Destroyer to Midgard, you were very much not under Thanos’s control, and that’s not even counting the numerous ways you royally screwed me over while trying to take over kingdoms. So here, you are just another Asgardian, and if you want to stay, then you will act accordingly!”   
The flare in his nostrils was enough to make your veins ice over. He didn’t speak, instead, grabbed hold of your hand and jerked you forward so that you were against his chest. His free arm wrapped around your body, pinning you to him.   
“You keep acting as if you have a say, but from where I'm standing, the only thing keeping me from taking over this silly little colony is the respect I have for you. I haven't broken from this pathetic prison because I have been patiently waiting to speak with you," he hissed in your ear. "And now you tell me I have no claim to this throne?” The warmth of his breath against your skin was enough to spark you from the inside when he added, “What about you, then? What’s between us now?”   
Clenching your fists, you dug your nails into your palms so hard it drew blood. You had to do something to give yourself back the strength to fight this need for him.   
This isn’t your Loki, you reminded yourself, breaking free of his hold. Pulling the key out of your pocket, you made a point to show it to him just before unlocking the door. "If ruling a people is all you're interested in, Loki, then by all means leave,” you told him as you stepped out to hold the door open for him, "Be free to go find a people to rule because here you'll find none."   
His brow furrowed, taken aback by your display. His eyes cut from side to side, trying to be sure that the two of you were indeed alone before he made up his mind on what to do next.   
"I said leave!"   
He jumped at your outburst, the regret of his words evident on his face. "So you would just let me leave? To do as I wish?"   
"I have been dealing with your shit long enough," you snarled, though you couldn't bring yourself to even look at him. Everything inside you was ready to erupt in more ways than one. You simply wanted the feeling gone, along with him. "Just go."  
You were facing the wall, planning to hear the sound of his footsteps making a break for the exit.   
Instead, what you heard was the clank of metal and click of a lock. Rolling on the ball of your heel, you looked at Loki, standing behind the cell bars.   
"Why didn't you leave?" The question left your mouth before you could think.   
His eyes came up to meet yours. "I told you I wanted to stay. I want to help my people, y/n, I don’t want to be remembered for the terrible things I’ve done. Whether it was me or another version. I want to be someone my people can be proud of and if the only way for me to stay is by being in here then," he sighed as if annoyed by it all, adding a dramatic eye roll, "I suppose I can handle being patient a bit longer until you realize I mean my words."  
You would have been stone faced had your eye not given a twitch. "Have it your way."   
With that, you left, trying desperately to ignore the raging heat filling you.   
Valkyrie was standing just outside the cellar door, her back against the building as she tried to keep a neutral face without smiling.   
"So, how did it go?"   
"I think well, but it’s hard to be sure with him,” you answerd honestly, replaying the scenario in your head, wondering if you made the right calls. “But if you’re up for it, he can come out of holding. You’ll need to find him lodging FAR away from me, and he is to be assigned to help around on the compound with everyone's jobs. By that I mean no solo jobs, he is to be monitored at all times. Is that understood?" Valkyrie looked as though she would make an argument but before she could, you added, "You don't know Loki like I do, Hilde. He isn't just some sharp tongue, arrogant prince. If he wants something, he will stop at nothing until he gets it and he doesn't care who he hurts. And at one point, he wanted something that belongs to my son."  
"You mean the throne?"   
You gave a court nod. "He has gone to great lengths to claim a people to rule, including the Asgardians. So heed my warning, and do not trust him."  
She nodded in agreement. "Understood. I'll personally keep an eye on him."   
You turned to look at the other guards who had come to relieve the night shift only to get stopped outside the door by Valkyrie while you interviewed Loki.   
"And you two may return to whatever jobs you had before this assignment, is that understood?"   
"Ey', sir," they answered in unison before marching away.   
You walked behind them, making sure they went where they were needed as Valkyrie stayed behind. She watched you all disappear from sight before turning her attention to the cellar door.   
Loki had laid back on his cot with his hands folded under his head, mumbling something to himself under his breath.   
"Hey! Lacky! Up!"  
The god lazily rolled to his side to see Valkyrie approaching his cell. "Oh wonderful," he moaned, laying back flat in boredom. "The alley has returned."  
"Much better than that. Y're free to go!"   
Loki practically jumped out of the bed, "I beg your pardon?"   
She flashed him a knowing smile as she opened the door to his chamber. "Yep. Y/n says you can come socialize with us peasants. And the best part?" She tilted her head as if telling a secret, her amusement glowing. "I get to assign you jobs."   
Loki's concern rose at the thought. "I think I'd prefer to stay here."  
Valkyrie managed to drag the god out of his sanctuary, guaranteeing it wasn't going to be so bad. She set him up to board with Korg in Thor’s old room, which set conveniently next to hers. She even took him to get some food and clothing from the local shops so he could get acclimated to life on Midgard.   
In every store they went, Valkyrie couldn't help but notice the cold stares the people gave him as they paid for their things.   
"Why does everyone hate you?" she blurted as she helped him tote his things into his new lodging. "I mean, I get you're an arse, but I'd think they'd be a little happy to see you."  
"They weren't my biggest fans when I fell from the rainbow bridge, but I must say, it does seem a bit worse," he admitted. "All the mess your time’s Loki did must have been hellacious."  
"Maybe." She put a gallon of milk into his fridge, still mulling over the reaction of the people. "But the way I see it, you're not that guy, right? You didn’t live all that stuff with them and y/n. You didn’t do it, you just need to show them that."   
Loki let out a snort, suggesting, "What, you mean you want to change their view of me?"   
"Why not?"   
Loki took a deep breath, running through the scenarios as much as he could before saying, "It'll never work. The impression I left before my noble sacrifice seems to outweigh whatever good my death brought. Not even y/n can stand the sight of me..."  
At that, Valkyrie’s voice got quiet, “I didn’t know you very long. Exactly what kind of relationship did the two of you have?”   
Loki’s brows raised as he looked off, seeing a lifetime pass him by at the thought. “The kind fairytales are made from,” he answered so seriously. “Ever since the first day I heard her laugh, I knew I would move entire worlds to make her happy.” He looked back at Valkyrie with a slight shake of his head. “So long has passed for her, but for me it was merely a year ago that I was stealing her away from her soldier duties. When I asked what was between us now, she acted as if she had no idea what I could mean.”   
Valkyrie knew the truth of why you didn't want to get close to Loki, and you weren't entirely wrong for feeling the way you did. Yet standing here with him, seeing the look he had from reminiscing over your old love, it made her wonder if you were making the right choice.   
*****  
Over the next few weeks, Loki was steadily etching away at your sanity. Thankfully, Frig was mature enough to comprehend the strange situation you were in and didn’t ask too many questions. You hoped it was from lack of interest, but you knew your son too well for that.   
He was simply keeping you happy. If he wanted to know more about what was happening, he would find a way.   
As for the one causing your hardships, you saw Loki several times in passing. He would be following behind Valkyrie to do whatever jobs she had lined up for the day, while you kept yourself busy ensuring the people of New Asgard had everything they needed for the upcoming harsh winter. In those short exchanges, you did all you could to avoid looking directly at him, going as far as to actually change the direction you were headed in order to bypass any crossing. Yet as you strove to ignore his existence, Loki was trying desperately to get your attention. You would feel his eyes on you whenever he was around, begging for something, anything, to show you to acknowledged him.  
But it wasn’t until the fourth week that he went as far as to call out your name from across the street.   
The day itself was one of the brightest it had been, the sun shining down on the last bit of greenery left behind as fall transitioned into winter. The sky was a clear blue, the trees different brilliant shades of gold and reds, all blending with the neutral colored townshops and cobbled streets.   
When his voice cut through the crisp air, you froze. “Y/n!" You didn't react and he went on, "Hey, y/n, may I have a word?"   
Taking a deep breath, you went on with your business, ignoring the looks from everyone else watching your strange behavior.   
“She’s never going to speak to me, is she?” he asked Valkyrie as you trotted away in such a hurry you tripped over a fish cart. “She’s just going to keep pretending nothing has ever happened between us…”  
Her brown eyes glanced over at him, taking in the once proud prince of Asgard standing there in muddied boots, ripped jeans and a hoodie. Even in the new commonwear of the Asgardians, Loki held a certain regality that she had to admire. Yet even with his striking features, the heartbreak was apparent.   
That’s when she realized what needed to be done in order to push this situation along.  
While his calloused hands grabbed hold of the wheelbarrow they had been pushing towards the stables, she quipped, "You know, I have better things to do than listen to your complaining."  
“And what’s that supposed to mean?”  
“Simple,” she said, taking the wheelbarrow from him to set it to the side, “You’re gonna be someone else's problem today.”   
Loki tried to hide his slight relief at a job change, but deep down he wondered if it would be something worse than what they had already been doing.   
Loki followed a step behind Valkyrie, his hands folded behind his back while his eyes danced across the village. In all the time he had been there, this was perhaps the first time he noticed the people passing him friendly glances. One by one, they began waving at him, one even stopping to thank him for his and Valkyrie's help repairing their chicken coup.   
In truth, the god hadn’t realized all the work he had been doing for the people of New Asgard, so much so that they were now beginning to warm up to him.   
“Is this a part of your plan?” he wondered after the baker offered each of them a danish for their help mend his stone oven a few days before. “Are you trying to make the Asgardians welcome me so y/n will come around to seeing I’m a better man than she thinks?”   
“Something like that,” she answered.   
On the outer edges of the homes and shops, there was a large clear field the overlooked the small town. Sitting beneath a large birch tree with a small garden out to the side stood a small, single roomed building made from white stones with a red roof.   
Just before they got too close, they were met with the sound of laughter.  
A small gaggle of clucking children came pouring out of the building, one after another, spreading out like rampaging monsters.   
"By Valhalla, what are we doing here?" Loki asked nervously, seeing a familiar face come out from the school.   
Sif stood at attention when her eyes caught sight of Valkyrie and Loki coming towards her students. Making her way towards the odd pair, she unconsciously moved her hand towards where the hilt of her sword used to sit.   
"What is it you want? And why is he lose, wasn't he in the cellar?"   
"He was," Valkyrie exerted, "Until Y/n said he could come out and play. I've been assigned with assigning his assignments and I just thought ‘You know who could use a clever helper like Loki? Sif!’ So-" Valkyrie stood behind Loki and gave one hard shove between his shoulders, "You kids have a good day!"   
He swallowed a curse word in favor of not crossing either of them.   
Sif's tone was sharp as her sword when she lashed out, "I am no babysitter and I won't be putting up with his nonsense. Have someone else deal with him!" Sif pushed Loki in the chest, not hard but enough to get a grunt out of him. "Why don't you keep him?"   
Valkyrie let out an obvious, "I've had him nearly a month, and he hasn't been bad. Besides, I think he could benefit from being around a loving person such as yourself. Ya know learn some compassion, some understanding."   
They both looked ready to go another round, with Loki standing awkwardly in between them unwilling to move. It wasn't until the silence got their attention that they became aware the children had all stopped playing to watch the events. Realizing they were going to need to salvage the situation, both adults grumbled apologies.   
"Fine," Sig agreed, "I'll keep him. But only for today, tomorrow-"   
"He'll be someone else's problem, exactly. See!" Valkyrie pointed both fingers at Sif as she began to back away from the scene, "I knew you had it in ya! Toodles, prince-y, be on your best behavior."  
Sif let out an aggravated snort when Valkyrie was out of hearing range.   
"You two don't seem to get along," Loki observed, regretting the words when her eyes glared at him.  
"Stay around me, but not near me. Don't get out of my range of sight, if you can’t see me that means I can’t see you and that won't fly."  
Loki's brow quirked at the orders, wondering, "Are you this charming with the children?"   
When he saw her fists tighten, he decided it wasn't worth antagonizing her. "Not out of sight, but keep my distance. Yes. I can handle that. I'll just… go see what the children are up to…" He turned around, startled by a group of children that had snuck up to his side.   
"We heard you're from the past-"   
"Is it true you faked your death-"   
"My mother says you're more handsome than Thor-"   
“They said Thanos killed you-”  
“My grandfather said he really liked your plays-  
"If you're the prince, then what does that make-"   
"Oh, hello Frig…"  
The children went quiet at the sight of a new, slightly taller boy joining the crowd. While the other children were covered in dirt the waist down from all their fooling around, this boy’s black on black clothes had no marks at all. Under one arm, he carried a red leather-bound book while the other carried a small burlap sack.   
"I think that's quite enough," the boy cut in, seeming particularly serious. "Didn't your parents teach you it's impolite to bother someone with personal questions?"   
The other children looked amongst themselves while the slightly taller boy simply sighed.   
"Nevermind. Come on, Mr. Loki, you may sit with me." When Loki merely raised a brow at the invitation, the boy shruged. "I mean, if you prefer to answer their questions, by all means. Should you change your mind, I will be sitting over there by that tree, reading my book until we return for lecture. Until then," the boy turned on his heels, his perfectly groomed black hair resting in place as he swung around. "I bid good luck."  
Loki watched as the child, with book clutched in one hand, sack in the other, trekked away.   
"Most peculiar," he whispered to himself just before the smaller children began going on again.   
"So are you really the god of miss Chef?"   
"How many knives can you throw at once?"   
"My dad said that you weren't a very nice person-"   
Loki held up a hand to stop the questions. "You know, children, I believe I am going to take that other, quieter child's offer and join him. Over there. Away from here."  
He reached out between the children, gently separating them so that he could pass on his way to where the boy sat. They, in turn, carried on with their freedom and broke out into screaming runs across the open field.   
"If your offer still stands, I would be inclined to take it," he announced once he stood near the boys feet.   
The boy shifted his weight around so that he could lay back against the tree, pulling open his burlap sack. "I'm sorry, the offer expired. You're going to have to fend for yourself amongst the peasants."  
Loki's eyes nearly crossed at the comeback, surprised to hear such quip from a small child.   
"Oh, don't look so distressed, I was only kidding. Here," the boy offered up an apple. "My mother packs me extra so I can feed the kids who's parents may have forgotten to send a snack. I believe today that's you."  
He hadn't expected to, but Loki had to laugh at that. "Yes, I suppose that is me. Thank you," and took the apple.   
The god nestled himself against the other side of the tree to where he was still somewhat visible should Sif look over for him. “Those children said you're named Frig?"   
"Yes, I’m named after the last queen. My mother says she was a very special person."  
Loki agreed, "She certainly was that." Loki got quiet at the memory of his mother and the hard realization that she wasn't a part of this new world he had moved to.   
Rather than dwell, he asked, "You're a tad different from those other children, why aren't you running about and making loud noises?"   
The boy only shrugged. "I've never cared for it." He passed a bright, green glance up towards the god before adding, "I'm told I'm a lot like my father."  
Loki nodded, the corner of his eye catching a glimpse of the book the boy had been carrying. "What is it that you're reading?"   
“Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.”   
“Who’s Harry Potter? What’s the sorcerer’s stone?” Loki asked as if the information was somehow coveted.   
The boy opened the book, explaining, “It’s only a story, nothing literal. A boy, Harry Potter, well, he finds out he's a wizard and is taken to a special school to learn magic.”   
Loki nodded as he took a bite of the apple, glancing out over the hillside. From where he sat, he could see all of New Asgard, including the quaint fishing docked and trucks flowing in and out of the main square. Where once his people had resided in the greatest kingdom of all the realms, now they were reduced to this small, midgardian squavel.   
No better than their ancestors, living in a small colony on a strange world.   
“It’s not quite the same is it?” Frig asked, opening up his book to start reading. “My mother says you’re from the past, before Asgard was destroyed. I assume seeing this must have been a shock.”   
Surprised, Loki wondered,“What do you know of my Asgard?”   
“I know there as a big, golden palace. I read about the rainbow bridge and the Bifrost,” he answered. “I also know that it was lead by a good, proud family.” He looked like he wanted to go on, but chose to stop.   
“And what do you know of it’s destruction?”   
At that, Frig paused. When Loki thought he should change the subject, the boy answered, “Just that my father helped save us. He’s why we’re all still alive.”   
Loki snickered in reflex, “That's just what a mother would say.” When Frig’s round eyes shot up at him, he bit his tongue.   
“No,” the child stated, “It’s true. My father was a hero and so is my mother.”   
Loki caught himself before making another snarky remark, feeling a bit a empathy with the boy. “That must make you destined for greatness, young one.”   
Frig smiled to himself, looking back down at his book as he noted, “My mother says that, too.”   
“She sounds wise.”   
Sighing, the child answered, “Most of the time.”   
Letting out a short laugh, Loki leaned back and rested against the tree with his eyes closed. The two of them sat in silence for another several minutes before Sif’s demanding voice came cutting through the air. “Back to class. Now!” A mixture of moans and groans echoed amongst the children while Loki stood, certain he was meant to follow. Looking down at his newfound friend, he offered a hand. Frig took it eagerly, hopping up with his bag under his arm.  
Holding his book out, he offered, “Why don’t you borrow it? I’m sure our class is going to get rather dull for you. When you’re finished, we can discuss it.”   
Loki’s brow furrowed at the sentiment, but took the book nonetheless. “Thank you?" The child flashed him a toothy grin before darting off towards the schoolhouse.  
*****  
You had just finished your morning rounds and was headed towards the dock when you saw Valkyrie. It wasn’t so much that seeing her was peculiar, but seeing her alone was off.   
“Where’ Loki?” you asked.   
She jumped at the disturbance, cursed, and then looked at you crossly. “Don’t sneak up on people, it’s rude!”   
“Hilde, where is he?”   
She saw the pointed look in your eyes and let out a sigh. “You told me to make sure someone keeps an eye on him, you didn’t say it had to be me all the time.” Shrugging her shoulders, she lifted up the wheelbarrow, finishing with, “He’s in good hands, promise.”   
You stepped in front of her so she couldn’t go forward, the sheer aggravation and nervousness written on your face. “Hilde. Where. Is. He.”


	9. The Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains lemon/smut

Originally, Loki dreaded the idea of sitting in the cramped schoolhouse with the children. After weeks of working with his hands, mending fences, and cleaning out the stables, he thought surely the children would be their own kind of headache.   
Yet he was pleasantly surprised. Sif ran a rather tight ship, keeping the children both quiet and entertained with her lessons. She went over things such as letters, numbers, words, both Asgardian and Midgardian. While the other children listened intently, Loki noticed his friend Frig was reading another thick book he had hidden in his lap.   
Meanwhile, Loki was tasked with sitting in the farthest corner, asked only to be still and keep to himself while class carried on. Frig turned every once in a while to offer a reassuring smile, but otherwise the god spent his time reading his new book.   
It was about an hour after they came inside that the school’s front door flew open. Alarmed by the disruption, Loki jumped from his seat, readying himself to fight if need be.   
Yet he relaxed at the sight of you breathless in the doorway. You huffed in and out while your eyes met his, fearful and begging, though he didn’t understand. About to ask what was wrong, a familiar child’s voice caught his ear.   
“Mother?”   
At the sound your heart leapt into your throat, your eyes immediately falling on your son sitting just a few chairs away from Loki.   
“Mother?” you heard Loki repeat. His eyes went from you to Frig, brow creased while he connected the dots.   
Your lips opened to speak, half expecting to scream but instead all that came was a short, choppy, “Out. Now.”   
His piercing eyes never left yours as he came around to your side. Just as he passed you, he glanced back at Frig, who's face was scrunched in concern.   
That’s when Loki realized it was he, and he alone, who didn’t know the truth.   
Letting out a breath, he went outside.   
“Mother,” Frig repeated, getting up from his seat, “May I…”   
“Sit!” you commanded. Everyone in the schoolhouse landed on their bottoms, including Sif. “Continue with class, I’ll speak with you when you get home.”   
On that note, you closed the door.   
Loki’s stare was cold but he didn’t speak, his mind spiraling with what he just discovered.  
“Valkyrie is in the stables,” you directed, “That’s where you’re working-”  
“You had no intention of telling me, did you?”   
Maintaining eye contact, you went on like he said nothing, “She’s in the stables, you know where that is, I trust you don’t need to be escorted.”   
He stepped closer towards you, his eyes burning down into yours, his voice threatening. “No. I’m not going to the stables.”   
“No?” you repeated, “You don’t get a choice, Loki, you’re going to have to work if you intend to stay here. We all pull our own weight-”  
“I’m not saying I won’t work,” he took a step closer to you, “But what I am saying is that you're going to give me answers. I believe you owe me that much.” When you didn’t speak, he lowered his head. The fists he made at his side made you tense up but when he looked back up, you saw the pain so clearly it made your own heart ache. “I can’t stand this any longer, y/n, I have to know what's happened between us.”   
“It’s complicated,” you said too quickly.   
"Complicated…" he repeated, his face contorting like the word was sour. “Do you hear yourself, y/n? Complicated?” Loki’s anger was becoming apparent by the straight line of his lips and fire in his eyes. “What about this isn’t complicated! I’m from the past, you’re from the future, Thanos is gone, and Asgard is reduced to ash while her people struggle to get by!”   
The rampage stopped when he regained control, closing his eyes tight while he realined himself.   
“Why didn't you tell me we have a son?”  
“We don't. I do.”  
At that, Loki once again lost is temper, “Frig has MY blood in his veins! You act as if my mere existence is so painful for you, yet at some point you must have had love for me! So why do you hate?”  
“Blood doesn't make a parent! Choices do, and I know who you are, Loki Odinson of Asgard. I know right now you are a version of yourself that is broken! I know that because I spent what felt like a lifetime trying to help put you back together only to fall to pieces myself.” Tears swelled in your eyes, but it was the truth. For every moment you had with Loki, there was a heartbreaking truth that you were never truly his goal. Something would always come between you, some new strive in his life. A throne. A kingdom. A titan. You weren’t his priority, and so now he could no longer be yours.   
Frig came first.   
And then your people.   
You simply couldn’t afford to lose yourself to the fantasy that this was somehow meant to be.  
“I loved you for so long and for mere glimpses I was allowed beautiful moments with you that I will cherish for a millennium,” you were finally able to say, “but I cannot go through it all again.”  
“Is…” he hesitated bringing it up, but went on, “Is this about what happened in New York? Because that was not me, y/n, that was…”  
You cut him off. “I know, Loki. I know it was Thanos, because I'm the one who figured it out. And then I begged you to admit it all to your father, but you refused, because of pride or hatred I don't know.” Your eyes grew colder, sharpening as you took a step towards the god of mischief. “And do you know how you thanked me for trying to help you? You made me a traitor of Asgard, a place I had spent my life preparing to serve. And then,” you closed the distance between you, but Loki didn't flinch even as you poked a finger into his chest, “And then you faked your death to take over Asgard, while I was on Midgard trying to drown the pain of what at that time was your second death! And then, I crash landed on a planet ruled by a lunatic when of course you just suddenly appeared! I believed you were dead for four years!” you cried out, shoving him back. "Three times, I have mourned your death, Loki! Three! And every time, it seems like you've come back just to break me down again!"   
His voice came out small when he admitted, “You make me sound truly awful…”  
His words froze you in place. As angry as you had become, it subsided enough for you to take a breath.   
“No," you admitted." No, you didn't stay like that." Your tone softened, though you hadn't realized it. “We were battling on Asgard with these undead monsters when we were overwhelmed. I got injured, was bleeding so much I could hardly see anymore, yet somehow you managed to get us both out. I was unconscious for the worst of it but when I came to you were just… there. Sleeping beside me. You had been there waiting for me to wake up…” You choked up a little and cut the story short. "It was so perfect. You were so perfect…" You took in a breath, but didn't pick back up. Instead you looked into Loki's sorrowful face.   
“May I at least know why you changed your mind? After everything that happened, you loved the version of Loki that died. I just…” he cleared his throat to keep his voice from cracking as he held back tears of his own, “What made you love him despite all of those travesties, when you can’t even give me a chance to love you having done none of it?”   
At that, your jaw fell open, but nothing came out. It wasn't that you didn't realize you were holding things against him that your Loki had done, but it was the dryness in his words that stung. All this time you had been using the past to avoid getting close to him, afraid he would just repeat those mistakes.   
It had never occured that this Loki may be different.   
After some thought, you answered, “There's no specific reason. Something about him had shifted, as if he had finally become himself. After all those years he was simply my Asgardian prince again. He changed and so did I. We may not have had the time together that we wanted, but it was worth it because it gave me Frig. And if it wasn't for his sacrifice, the Asgardians would nothing more than midgardian folklore.”  
"If he was capable of being who you needed him to be, why don't you believe I can?"   
You closed your eyes to hold back unlashed tears. Seeing the face of the man you had to lose over and over and over again was too much to stand. It's why you avoided him all this time and why you tried your damndest to not talk to him.   
"If you don't learn from the past,” you tried to argue, “Then you're doomed to repeat it…"  
"But it's not my past, y/n. I will never experience what your Loki did. My life, My choices. I'm not influenced by what drove him." When you didn't respond, he asked, "What if I'm different?"   
You looked up, tears still trying to fall. "I'm not strong enough to handle anymore heartbreak, Loki, and that's what loving you is. It's pain, it's loss, it's this never ending cycle of picking up my broken pieces. I cannot do it anymore, and I won't put Frig through it either."   
"But..."   
He didn't continue. For the first time ever, his silver tongue had nothing to say. You could see his apparent aggravation, the sheer agony of trying to convince you to give him a chance but being shot down at every turn. After a painful reality set in, he started, "I love you, y/n. I always have. I cannot begin to fathom a lifetime, a realm, or a version of me that wouldn't do what needed to be done in order to have you. You say I’m broken. You say I left you in pieces. If that’s the case, then don’t you think together we can create something whole?"   
Suddenly, he wrapped his arms around your shoulders, pulling you into an embrace as he went on, "Y/n, if you would just give me a chance, I'll do whatever it takes to prove it to you, each and every day. Let me show you that I can be the man you deserve."  
At that you lost control, letting the tears fall down your cheeks. You could feel him cupping the back of your head to nestle you against his chest as you sobbed.   
“Y/n,” he whispered, but choked back whatever other comment he was going to make, instead squeezing you a bit tighter as he kissed the top of your head. "I swear on Valhalla, I just want to make you happy."  
Your lips quivered as you struggled to wipe your face clean. It was infuriating enough that you were crying, but you weren't going to let him see. Lightly placing your hands on his chest, you pushed yourself off of him and out of his hold. "I think you should leave."  
"Leave?" he echoed dumbly.   
"Yes. Go find Valkyrie. She's in the stables." To keep your voice from shaking, you shot your words out and looked down. You couldn’t even bring yourself to meet his gaze.   
At that, his brow furrowed, but he held whatever argument he was going to make in favor of the more passive aggressive, "Alright, y/n. If that's what you wish." Loki took a step back, gave a short bow and left to find Valkyrie. At the sight of him disappearing down the hilltop, you covered your mouth to stifle back your crying. Once you regained control over yourself, you turned back to face the schoolhouse.   
"Frig," you whispered to yourself, feeling yet another piece of your heart break that much more. Taking a deep breath you headed back towards your house. Just as you got to the door, you changed your mind and headed down the path to the tavern.  
This day was worth the loss of your sobriety.  
*****  
Valkyrie was already set up in the stables when the god of mischief slinked in.   
“It didn’t go well, I take it?” When he didn’t answer, she pressed, “At least tell me you met him?”  
“You knew,” he acknowledged, “You knew I’d meet Frig. That’s why you sent me.” Letting out an exasperated breath, he scoffed, “Was I the only person who didn’t know?”   
Valkyrie turned to face Loki when she said, “He hasn’t stopped talking about you since you arrived.” She bent down to pick up a stack of hay for her pegasas as she added, “And I didn’t see y/n coming to her senses without a little nudge.”   
“I’m afraid the effort was in vain. I don’t believe she intends to ever speak to me again.”   
Valkyrie hesitated, looking back over her shoulder to him. She couldn't ignore the devastation in his face, notable shake in his words. “You really love her don’t you?”   
Loki leaned back against the railing, not willing to meet her stare. “She’s just always been there. My childhood, my adolescence, while I was studying to be prince, she was there for me. She even joined the royal guard and I saw her every single day.” His head shook taking in this realization, “I thought we would be married. I thought we would be a family.” The realizations kept coming, pouring out of him like an unwritten play. “We were going to have this amazing life together, I had it all planned, we were so close.” He closed his eyes, tilting his head back so that it came against the rail. “I am such a fool.”   
Stuck in his own self pity, he jumped when Valkyrie grabbed hold of his arm.   
“If that’s how you feel, show her.”   
“She won’t listen,” he pointed out, “I tried to tell her-”  
“NO!” she yelled, her voice causing a stir amongst the animals. “You SHOW her! Y/n has proven she won’t listen, so you make her see.”  
He thought she might as well have been speaking in rhymes with her vagueness, but Loki took a moment for himself to contemplate it.   
How could he show you he wasn’t just here to hurt you?  
How could he prove that he did, truly love you?  
*****  
You hadn’t been inside the tavern to drink since the celebration of Thanos’s defeat a year ago. When you set yourself up at the bar, you could feel the eyes of the regular drunkards watching their chief order a bottle of midgardian whiskey and a glass.   
So encased in your own thoughts, you didn’t notice Korg take a seat at your side, setting his bug friend on the stool on the other side of him.   
“Oh, hello, y/n, how are you?”   
Glancing at him over the rim of your glass, you remembered he was now rooming with Loki. You let out a sigh, realizing nothing you did made the god of mischief go away.   
“Hi Korg,” you offered, pouring yourself another glass while he accepted a beer bottle from the bartender.   
The two of you sat in bizarre silence until he started, “So, Loki’s been living with me a while-”  
“No offense,” you cut him off,” But if you have some issues with Loki, then take them up with Valkyrie. I am not his keeper.”   
“Oh, right, okay then.”   
The silence was even more stale before you finished your second glass.   
Feeling him holding what he was originally going to say, you snapped, “Spit it out then. What about Loki?”   
“Oh, well, it’s just that, our mutual friend, well the friend of our mutual friend, he’s not really my friend, he scares me a bit honestly, but he’s not a bad guy-”  
“Out with it, Korg.”   
“Oh, well, I know what’s going on between you is none of my business, but don’t you think you should, I don’t know, talk to him?”   
You slowly turned to look Korg in the eye, certain he wasn’t brazen enough suggest such a thing. He looked more uncomfortable, shifting his eyes around to make sure others were there in case you flew off into a rage.   
“Is that all?” you asked flat tone.   
“Oh. um. Yes?”   
“Thank you for your concern, I’ll think it over,” you answered, reaching over the bar for a brown bag to shove your bottle in. You went towards the door without another word.   
“Oh, Ok. Good talk,” you heard him say, more to himself than you.   
You walked home taking swallow after swallow from your bottle with every other step. Outside your front door, you were met by Sif and Frig. Quickly, you hid the bagged bottle behind your back.   
“Y/n,” Sif scolded you through her stare, but you didn’t look at her. Instead, you were watching Frig.   
“Are you mad at me, mother?” he asked, his voice as small as his form.   
The question tugged at you, making you feel guilt over your selfishness. While trying to protect yourself from Loki, you had left Frig to deal with his feelings alone.   
The shame humbled a smile onto your lips as you ran your fingers through his hair. “No, sweetie. You’ve done nothing wrong.”   
“Does that mean you’re angry with father?”   
You and Sif both stiffened at the question, not expecting it. “It’s just… complicated adult stuff.”  
“It certainly is,” Sif affirmed, squeezing her nephew’s shoulder. “Why don’t you go get cleaned up for dinner? Your mother and I need to speak.”   
His curious eyes went between you both before he nodded and went inside.   
When the door closed, you expected Sif to raise her voice, to berate you, to guilt you for putting Frig through this.   
Instead, she did something she had never done before.   
She hugged you.   
“I cannot fathom what you must be going through,” she admitted. “But know that I am here. Brunhilde is here. And,” she pulled back to look you in the eyes, “Loki is here. If that isn’t a sign from Valhalla that this was destined, then may Thor’s lightning strike me down.”   
You closed your eyes. “Sif, I…”   
“Y/n, stop being so hard headed. We are all grateful for what you’ve done for us here, but it’s time you do something for yourself. You have this incredible twist in fate that has given you something you shouldn’t have had to lose.”   
It was such a revelation to hear from Sif, someone who had always detested Loki. To hear her encourage you was something you had never seen coming.   
You hugged each other again before she left you with even more to think about.   
“Frig, you called out as you went into the house, setting the whiskey on the kitchen counter, “Sweetie? What did you want for dinner?”   
No answer.  
“Frig?” you yelled towards his bedroom, “Frig!”   
That's when you noticed something in your living room was missing.  
Loki’s battle horns.  
*****  
Loki had been finished helping Valkyrie for half an hour before he finally started his way back towards his house. He smiled at the friendly faces he passed on the street, shaking hands with one couple that were thanking him for his help tending to their garden.   
Though he was able to keep it together, deep down, he was falling apart.   
Even after Valkyrie’s certainty that you would see differently, Loki honestly felt there was no more hope in rekindling the love the two of you shared.   
“It’s over,” he told himself, “Y/n wants nothing more to do with me.”   
It was hard to admit but it was the truth. As much as he wanted you, he couldn’t make you be with him.   
It was becoming harder and harder to maintain the cheerful facade when he saw something strange out the corner of his eye.   
Something familiar.   
Something gold.   
“Hey!” he roared, breaking into a full out run to catch up with the figure as it turned down an alleyway. Loki pursued, certain he must be so depressed he had crossed over into madness. He came to the mouth of the alley in time to see the horns bolt out the other side to a side street. “Stop!” he commanded, darting after it.  
*****  
You were absolutely furious with yourself for not speaking to Frig sooner. Knowing the way his mind worked, you should have seen he was struggling though he didn’t press you about it.  
He was his father’s son, after all. Once his mind is set on something, he is hooked.   
You had already taken to the streets, ducking in and out of shops down main street while calling out his name. Just when you were getting desperate enough to seek out Valkyrie, you caught sight of him coming out of an alleyway, the oversized helmet set on his brow, his hands holding onto the sides of the temples to balance the oddity.   
In that moment, he looked so much like Loki it took your breath away.   
“Why, hello, mother,” he gushed, taking a step back as though to prepare to run. “How’s dinner coming along?”  
But before he could, another figure emerged from behind him, blocking his path.   
“There you are!” Loki announced, taking hold of the horns and lifting them up, “Now what is thi-”  
His eyes locked onto yours.   
He looked down and saw the bright green gaze of Frig.   
“Oh,” was all he managed. “Well, I’m a tad confused…”  
While every nerve on your body was on edge, Frig simply smiled up at him.  
“Actually, Mr. Loki, I was bringing this to you. I thought that since you were back, you would want to have it.” Frig’s eyes were just so bright as they looked up to Loki that for a minute, he didn’t know what to say.   
Resorting his thoughts, the god grinned sweetly to the boy before kneeling in front of him. “Actually, I don’t much have use for a battle helmet lately,” he explained. “So, if it’s alright with you, I would feel much better if you kept an eye on it for me. You know, keep it safe.”   
You saw Frig’s face light up in delight when Loki lowered the battle horns onto his head, and something inside of you turned like a switch.   
“Would you like to come for dinner?” Loki and Frig but whipped their heads towards you, certain they had misheard. “I mean, it won’t be anything fancy, but if you would like-”  
“I would love to have dinner with you,” he breathed out, standing up straight with a hand flat on Frig’s back.   
The two of them walked a few paces behind you while your brain ran over what you were possibly going to say to him once you got to your home. Knots formed in your stomach as you opened the door and let them in, Loki hesitated at the door, locking eyes with you to get one final nod of approval before he entered. As you closed the door behind you, you watched Loki take in the sight of your modest little cottage, so plain and Midgardian compared to the Asgardian homes. But Loki was busy watching Frig as he went up to the mantle. He hopped onto the fireplace, clung to the sturdy block of wood that sat as your mantle, and set the helmet in the middle of your two broadswords.   
“There's blood on those blades,” Loki noticed.   
Frig exclaimed, “Mother cut Thanos in half!”   
While Loki shot a surprised look in your direction, you corrected, “I cut his cheek,” you drew a line across your face with a finger, “Nearly got pummeled to get that little bit. But it was worth it.”   
It was then that Frig grabbed hold of Loki and dragged him to his room to show him his various books and collectibles. You took the time to busy yourself in the kitchen, managing to cook up some vegetables and seared fish while you did all you could to keep a level head.   
When the food was ready, you went to find them sitting cross legged in the floor. Loki was telling him a story you recognized from your youth, about a sweet love story of two birds finding each other after a lifetime apart. The boys came out and set themselves at the table as though this were just a normal routine. You ate quietly while the two of them went on and on about different things, one of which being Loki’s use of magic. With his obsession of all things Harry Potter and wizards, Frig was wide eyed at the idea that Loki knew spells himself.   
They carried on while you cleared the table until, at last, it was time for bed.   
“Please, mother,” he begged. But with one look, he knew it would be in vain. He scurried off to bed while Loki waited outside his bedroom, watching as you went in to tuck in the blankets. “Would it be alright if Mr. Loki tucked me in?”   
The request left you speechless, but Loki was already at your side. “It would be my pleasure,” he told him, leaning down to tuck the folds of his blanket around his small body. “Goodnight, you clever boy.”   
Frig flashed a proud grin as you added, “Too clever.”   
You planted a kiss on his cheek before following Loki back out into the living room.   
You stood in the hallway for a moment, watching as he made his way back up to the battle horns.   
“I bet you looked ferocious,” he commented as you got closer. “I can only imagine you sparing with Thanos. It’s a fight I wish I could have witnessed.”   
“I certainly didn’t feel ferocious when he threw me across the battlefield like a child’s ball.”   
The two of you were quiet while you both tried to work through everything that had happened up till now.   
It was Loki that spoke up first, offering up a simple, “Thank you.”   
“It’s no trouble, I’m sure Korg isn’t much of a cook-”   
“No,” he corrected, “For this. For letting me be here. For letting me talk to Frig. I know this hasn’t been easy…” His eyes met yours before going towards the helmet. “I know that I’m a part of him that’s hard to see, but,” his hand reached up to brush your hair back from your face, “But I’m not everything he was. My life isn’t taking the same path as his.I hope you can see that, y/n.”   
“I know you’re not,” you admitted, taking a deep breath as you looked up at the helmet yourself. “And I have to stop treating you like it.”   
Another silence fell between you while you searched for something to say.   
Instead, you opted for something to do. “Would you like a drink?”   
“I would love a drink,” he cooed, following you to the kitchen. You pulled out two glasses and poured the whiskey you brought home from the bar. After you handed him his glass, he held it out to you.   
“To the future,” he cheered.   
“To the past,” you retaliated. The glasses clinked in solidarity, your eyes locked while you took a drink.   
You put the glass back on the table after a sip, but Loki finished his in one gulp.   
“You drink like you’re nervous,” you pointed out.   
“Not nervous, no.” He reached to pour more in his glass, topping yours off. "Mostly anxious."  
The two of you shared a glance, feeling the rhythm of your heart pick up just by looking at him. You quickly turned away to take another gulp of liquid courage.   
Loki opened his mouth to say something, but just then you both heard a sound come from Frig's bedroom. Instinctively you got to your feet, "Let me check on him," you excused yourself.   
Alone, Loki also rose from his chair. "Now where is that stone?"  
Frig had only called out because in his sleep he had a strange dream. He couldn't manage to tell you what it was about, only asking you to sit with him a moment longer until he finally fell back asleep. You pet his hair, lacing your fingers through his tresses as you tried to prepare to face Loki.   
Gently setting his head out of your lap once you were sure he was out, you snuck out of the room and slowly closes the door. Taking a moment to regain yourself, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath.   
Perhaps this was all a mistake, you wondered.   
Debating on asking him to leave, you went back into the living room, just in time to see Loki standing in front of your mantle.   
Though you expected to see him examining his helmet again, you realized that's not what he held. Your mouth opened, but you were stunned into silence as Loki turned around, the compartment inside the mantle open, the tesseract in his hand.   
He held a hand out to you, "I promise this isn't what it looks like, I just-"   
"Use it."  
Loki's brow creased at your words, his eyes scanned you for reasoning.   
"If that's what you really want," you allowed, willing to meet his eyes. "Then have it."  
Loki swallowed the lump in his throat, looking down at the cube before staring back at you.   
"I have something I have to do, y/n-"  
"I don't care about details," you told him dryly, keeping eye contact with him. "Just. Go."  
You could tell he was thinking hard, rolling thoughts around before biting down on his cheek, making his choice.   
You watched him vanish with the space stone.   
There was such a vast emptiness in your body that you wondered if you could die from shock.   
He did it again, you thought. He used you for what he wanted.  
Your thoughts were interrupted by the flash of the space stone reappearing with Loki, but something was different. The stone itself was inside of a golden case, while Loki was in his old Asgardian leather. “I haven’t been gone long have I?” Jaw dropped you watched as he nonchalantly reached out and took hold of your hand, “Come, y/n, I have something to show you.”   
You didn't have the opportunity to dispute his offer before he used the stone again and you both vanished.   
In a split second, you were transported somewhere foreign yet familiar. The sky was a clear blue and rather than the chill of your home in Midgard, you felt the warmth of the sun. At your feet, tall grass brushed against you as a breeze swept over the land. Looking out, you recognized the hilltop you stood on, the golden palace that sat out in the distance, the ocean who’s waves washed up on along the beaches.   
You were once again on the hilltop in Asgard, the same places you visited in your youth and the last place you spoke with Loki through his illusion.   
But this was no illusion.   
This was a reality, just not yours.  
Breathless your head swiveled around while you took in the sight of your old home world, glowing in all its glory. Not far from where you stood, something different caught your eye. A modest home of clay and stone, sitting on the highest point of the hill, facing out towards the castle.   
"Do you know where we are?" Loki asked.   
"I do, but I don't," you answered honestly, stepping closer towards the house. "I remember this place, but that didn't used to be here-"   
You heard a voice coming from the home.   
One that you recognized.   
Loki's hand wrapped around your shoulder to pull you down to crouch in the grass, instructing, "Shh, we mustn't be seen."  
You were too entranced to argue, watching as out from the house came a raven haired boy you recognized.   
"Frig.. He's here?" After him came another, smaller child that desperately tried to catch up with him. She waddled a few steps before tripping, only to get back up and go after him.  
"Don't let your sister get dirty," a disembodied voice called out, just before an alternate version of you came into view.   
And there, behind you all, came this alternate world’s Loki with a small bundle in his arms. He walked around to your side and planted a kiss on your cheek before whispering something to you. Your cheeks flushed as you laughed, taking the bundle from his arms as the baby began to softly coo at her parents.   
As this family lived out their moment so innocently, unaware of the two of you watching them, you remained crouched in the grass, hand covering your mouth.   
"Why are you showing me this?" you finally managed to ask Loki, your voice quivering. “And what have you done to the stone?"   
He held up the contraption encasing the space stone, explaining, "I had to find a time where someone could devise me something to better control the stone’s power. After that, I searched." You followed his gaze as he looked back out to the happy family. "I spent four days hopping in and out of timelines, alternate realities, different futures. All in the hopes that I could find this one particular future.”   
At that, you were speechless. Watching the children play, you felt tears swell up in your eyes. Finally, you managed to ask," Why though? Why did you want to find this? "  
"Because this is what I always dreamed for us, y/n. A house on our special hill. Children to raise. A life together. This is what I always wanted, this is what I always saw as our future." A part of him choked up when he admitted, "This is how I saw our story play out, y/n, I always knew you and I were destined to have a life, a family. I know this isn’t a future you thought you could have since I died, but I'm here now. This," he pointed towards the house, "This can still be us. Obviously not here, but in Midgard. We can have this life there, if you'll only give me a chance." When you still didn’t answer, only stared blankly up at him, he finished with, “I can live without this ideal storybook ending, this fantasy of a world with no pain, no strife. But what I cannot live without,” he tilted your face towards him, “is you. I cannot go another day living like this, y/n. I cannot live in the same town as you, see you every day, and not be able to speak to you. To touch you. To hold you. In every reality I visited, every version of how our lives play out, the one truth above all else is that we are meant to be together. Me getting the space stone, coming to a time where you’ve lost me? This is more than a coincidence, y/n, this is the universe rewriting itself to give us the life we always wanted.” He brought his hands to both sides of your face, running his fingers back into your hair while tears fell down your face. His forehead pressed against yours while he finished, “I love you, y/n. I loved you in your past, and I want to love you in your present. I only need you to let me.”   
Your hands came up to his, running your fingers over his skin.   
Could it really be this easy?   
Rather than give you another moment to doubt him, Loki pulled you closer. You felt a jolt echo through your body at the sensation of his arms wrapping around you, but nothing could prepare you for the feeling of his lips as they pressed against yours.   
The kiss, light as a feather, was enough to send you soring.   
There were no words left as you felt the soft light wash over the two of you, taking you back to your cabin on Midgard. As you pulled back from him, you could see the softness behind his emerald gaze that you had witnessed after you and Loki fought Hela’s army.   
This version of Loki that you were so sure would repeat your pasts grievances, had proven he loved you more than anything else.   
Even with the tesseract in his possession, he used it only to show you how much you meant to him.   
The two of you stood quiet for a moment while he set the tesseract on the mantle next to his helmet. He turned to look at you, a small glint in his eye just before he presented you with a small bundle of wild flowers.   
Curious, you took the bouquet from him, inhaling sharply when he purposefully grazed your fingers. Your eyes locked onto one another and for a moment the world was still.   
Just as you were about to say something, the flowers in your hand began to wiggle. Instinctively you let go, expecting to see petals floating to the ground.   
But instead, what you saw was a set of light green, five inch long snakes, slithering across the ground to escape whatever madness they had just been conjured to.   
You bit down hard on your lips to stifle it down, but the jerks of your shoulders were evidence enough that were, indeed, laughing.   
“What the hell was that for?” you had to ask, completely confused by the theatrics.   
Loki’s eyes fell to the ground while his lips curled into a smile. A small huff escaped his mouth. “You laughed the last time I did that. Do you remember?”   
The snakes? You wondered, He had turned flowers to snakes?   
It wasn’t but another second before you realized he was right. The first time you ever met Loki, he had turned a flower that Thor was giving to your sister Sif into a harmless grass snake.   
At that, you let the laugh leave you willingly. “Yes,” you admitted, “I remember."  
You were taken off guard when Loki reached up and took your chin to turn your face towards his. His eyes burned into yours while he ran his thumb over your lower lip. You knew what was going to happen next. “Loki…” you breathed out.  
And yet all of that changed when his lips met yours. Like a tidal wave washing over you, his mouth opened for his tongue to sweep across your lips. Despite yourself you kissed him back, unable to contain it any longer. Your arms went around his shoulders, while his hands moved down your body to cup your ass. Letting out a shaky breath as you pulled back from the kiss, Loki didn’t let you move out of his grasp. He looked down at you, his desires written as plainly on his face as they were on yours. In one swift motion, he lifted you up in his arms, urging your legs around his waist as he pressed your back against the wall.   
Reaching up, you took a handful of his hair in your grip to try and maintain some sense of control. But at the tug of Loki's hair, a deep throated growl escaped him, driving his hips to grind against you as his fingers dug into your bottom.   
Even through both of your clothes you could feel Loki’s excitement threatening to erupt from its constraints with each agonizing motion. You yourself were overflowing with a heat that boiled in the pit of your soul, a raging inferno that could melt you from the core.   
His mouth broke loose of yours just as suddenly, due to newfound control over himself or a need to catch a breath you weren’t sure.   
Your eyes were on each others, chests heaving, grips tight, bodies tense.   
"Y/n," came out in a husky tone from his quivering lips. "If you ask me to stop, I will." Though he was showing restraint, the pressure to do so caused his fingers to dig deeper into the soft tissue of your ass. "If you don't want this, I won't go any further."  
You hadn't expected the gesture, your mouth opening to speak but nothing came out.   
Inside, your heart pounded, your head unraveled, your stomach flipped. Some part of you still feared what Loki was capable of, but your mind was so blurred by the raw desires building between you that you couldn’t protest.  
Giving into your lust, you pulled his face closer to yours, whispering, "Let's go to my room."  
The excitement in his eyes sent a wave through you while he took you up in his arms bridal style.   
You let him tote you down the hall, resting your head in the crick of his neck as the anticipation mounted. The feel of his skin against yours, the scent of his hair, even the way he held you was all so familiar, so comforting. Once in the seclusion of your room, he moved to your bedside and laid you down.  
His mouth came down on yours with a vengeance, no longer seeking approval but rather to feed the primal urges that had been tearing at you both since the day he arrived. You weren't any more gentle, knotting his hair between your fingers, latching onto him. The sensation of his fingertips sliding under your shirt sent delicious shivers through your body as you and Loki both began pulling at one another's clothes. As the last clothing was tossed to the side, Loki parted from your lips. He held himself above you, his eyes combing over every inch of your body before moving between your thighs. You brought your legs up, wrapping them around his waist as he situated himself at your entrance. Without hesitation, your heels dug into his waist, urging him forward.   
Your eagerness brought a smile to the god's face as he teased, "So impatient."  
Narrowing your eyes, you smiled back just before leaning up from the bed. In a quick motion, you wrapped an arm around his shoulder and slung him onto his back so that you could mount him. With a slight realignment of your hips, he was sliding between your lips.   
The animalistic groan that escaped from Loki was reflected by his nails carving deeper into your thighs. Moving back and forth over his shaft, there was an insurmountable pressure building inside of you that came out as soft moans as you pleasured yourself with his body.   
But you gave pause at the tightening of his hold.   
Instead of going on, you leaned down to kiss him, only to change direction and gently nip at his neck.   
It proved to be too much for him to stand as Loki reached to tangle his fingers in your hair to hold you in place while sitting up with you in his lap. His hips backed away enough to let his member raise between you and before you could even respond, he slipped inside of you.   
You stifled back your euphoric cries by locking onto his lips, moans echoing between you as you moved in unison, pumping his cock and and out. Your arms were wrapped around one another, helping you keep the rhythm as you both came closer and closer to finishing.   
Just before you came, Loki's mouth left your's and the two of you cried out in unison as you felt such a release that once you came down from the high, your body collapsed onto his. Cradling you in his arms, Loki kept you close to his chest while he rolled back onto the pillows. Your body relaxed, your breathing steadied. At absolute peace with the world for the first time in a long time, you slept.   
It wasn't until sunrise that your eyes began to gutter at the sound of your neighbor's rooster. Over and over is cawed at the beginning of a new day, as if everything in the world was the same as it had been the day before.   
Giving out a much needed stretch and deep breath, your hand brushed the empty side of your bed.   
You sat up, looking down.aware Loki was gone.   
That's whe you heard the scrambling in the kitchen, not rowdy but possibly a mess ensuing. Slipping into a robe, you wandered down the hall to the kitchen.   
Loki was standing with his back to you, Frig at his side on a chair so that he could reach the counter.   
"This is an avocado," Frig informed Loki, "You'll need a knife to cut it, but be mindful of the pit."  
With a flick of the wrist, a slender knife appeared in the god's hand, causing the boy to gasp in excitement.   
Neither had noticed you when Frig asked, "Do you think I can do magic like you and grandmother, father?"   
The title rolled off your son's tongue so effortlessly that you could tell it tugged at Loki in such a way he whipped his head to look down into his bright green eyes.   
"I…" You were just about to speak up when he came out with, "I certainly believe you can learn. You know I was only a few years older than you when I learned my first trick."  
"Really?"  
"Oh yes, I-"   
"Knock knock," Valkyrie cut in as she opened the front door. At the disturb ce, Loki and Frig both turned towards the door.   
Loki's eyes fell on you, realizing that you had been there there that whole time.   
"Oh, good morning, Mother. Aunt Hilde. Father and I are making breakfast."  
"Oh?" Valkyrie asked as she glanced over to you, answering with, "You and Father were making breakfast, how sweet."  
You could see the smile plastered on her face with an all too knowing I-told-you-so spark in her eyes as Frig and Loki set the table for you to all sit and eat. You and Brunhilde went over the day’s agenda while the Loki showed Frig small feats of magic. It all felt so normal that when Valkyrie left to go ahead and walk Frig to class, you didn’t give another thought to Loki asking to escort you all through town. The two of you walked a few paces behind them, quietly soaking up the settled world around you.   
Loki’s stopped walking, making you glance up to meet his gaze. “Thank you for giving me a chance, y/n. I can’t express how much this means to me, to finally get to have this life with you.”   
You looked out in front of you, seeing Frig pass a smile back your way before you looked back at Loki with a full heart. Pulling yourself up by his shoulders, you planted a kiss on his lips. “Thank you for showing me we could have it,” you spoke to him. He brought you close to an embrace, nuzzling his face into your hair.   
Frig called out to the two of you for getting behind, calling out, “Mother? Father? Sif will be upset if we’re late!”   
Loki’s hand took yours, his thumb rubbing across your palm as he pulled you forward. “Musn’t make Aunt Sif wait,” he laughed.   
The four of you went on towards the hill, waving goodbye to Frig and the rest of the children before you went to go on your day. Watching Valkyrie head on ahead, Loki started on the path back down towards main street as you took in a breath.   
This was your reality, you told yourself. Your people, your friend, your son and your love. Finally, you had come to where you needed to be.


End file.
